Can't Be Helped
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: “It’s something that can’t be helped,” I murmur to myself. I sigh as I realize the truth in my words. “It can’t be helped...” a voice repeats, and I know it’s not my own. .:. Satoshi POV, mangaverse, one-sided?SatoDai. T for curse words. COMPLETE.
1. One: Study Session

**A/N: Ever since I finished reading all the D.N. Angel manga online for the chapters I haven't gotten to yet (since I bought the manga up to volume six), I've been dreaming about his pairing. Seriously. And then this morning in the shower a little plot bunny popped up. It's insane! I blame it on all the adorable moments in the manga that I saw. Oh, and I blame this fic on YamiTenshi for showing me what website had D.N. Angel scanlations. Which stop at (and I quote the website): "Vol. 13, Ch.004: Stage 3 Vol. 23" (that confuses me, but I assume the vol.13 refers to English and perhaps the vol.23 refers to Japanese? Either way, it's very far from what I own, which as I said is merely volume six. And that tells you exactly how much I read in one day!)**

**Sometimes, when you get out of the shower after a nice long think and you look at your cat who happened to be on the chair in the bathroom the entire time but you didn't know it since you were half awake and the light wasn't on when you came to take said shower, talking to your cat is what helps you create the titles of stories and what events to occur later on in the story.**

**Yes, I talk to my cat. But she's very intelligent, like the Cheshire, so can you blame me? **

**No, you can't, because I already blamed other things for this story in my first paragraph of this note. So… nya~!**

***sips homemade hot cocoa with whip cream and cinnamon and begins typing what she wrote in class today* **

**

* * *

**

_[Ch.1; start]_

"Hiwatari-kun!" someone waves. I turn around to find bouncing red hair as a boy bounds down the sidewalk towards me.

"Niwa," I address. I adjust my glasses on my face, pretending not to look the redhead over. It's hard to do, since I always tend to acknowledge his appearance every time I see his smiling face.

He slows as he gets nearer, and I begin to walk again. "Man, am I glad that you transferred back; I think I really missed seeing you everyday! Haha…"

I glance off to the side to where some trees are planted along the side of the school. It makes me uneasy when he says things like that.

"So, um, hey… I was wondering if you might be able to help me study for the finals coming up? You said you already graduated college, so I thought I could learn a lot from you."

Ah, so he flagged me down because he wants something. But Niwa isn't the type to mooch off of others often, if at all. I can't refuse him for this reason. In response I shrug. "Sure, I don't mind. I've assisted you with your homework before."

He smiles extra wide with his eyes temporarily closed. "Cool! Thanks, Hiwatari-kun."

I slow my pace. "You don't have to call me that, you know. I'm not really a Hiwatari and you said we're friends, so why not call me by my real name?" It's been bugging me for a while now.

"Uh, well…" he stutters. I notice a slight blush tinting his cheeks; then again, the boy is so easily embarrassed, when is there _not_ a blush on his face? "You never call me by my first name, so…"

"I didn't necessarily mean my first name," I tell him. I pause. "I only call you by your last since we're supposed to be enemies."

"Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. But you could call me Daisuke if you wanted to; technically you're my senior since you've finished school already. You're entitled to call me anything you want and I wouldn't care. On the other hand, I…"

He's too polite for his own good. "Suit yourself," I say carelessly. "I simply thought it'd be easier for you."

He swallows, refusing to say a word.

In the silence while we walk, a thought comes to mind. "Are we studying at my house?" I ask flatly. I assume as much; his mother doesn't trust me, nor does the previous phantom thief, his grandfather. This is because of my being a Hikari. I despise the feud between our families. It's something I had no choice but to participate in, seeing as how I was born into it with Krad as a part of me. I constantly curse my ancestor for the creation of Dark and Krad and every piece of art with life in it. It makes this game of cat and mouse rather tiresome.

I hadn't noticed my quickened, angry pace that matches my thoughts until I hear Niwa jogging to keep up with me. I slow down once more. "Eh-heh, I was hoping we could go to your house; my mom wasn't so keen on me bringing you home the day you fainted, so I doubt she'll let me have you over to study for finals," he says to answer my question finally.

I nod once in agreement; I had been correct with my assumption, it seems.

Daisuke adjusts the strap of his book bag on his shoulder. "I still don't get why it has to be this way," he remarks. "Why can't someone break the chain? I mean, after you told me that story when we were rescuing Harada-san…"

He drifts off, and I don't pry for the rest. I know what he means, he doesn't need to say anything else.

The redhead looks over at me sadly, a glimmer of remembrance in his oddly colored ruby red eyes. "Why must your family be the ones to live the shorter lives? I'm still trying to think of how we could make things works like I promised…" he clicks his tongue. "It's not fair! Why couldn't the Niwas have that part of the curse?" He's frowning deeply, his arms crossing over his chest.

I stop and turn on him, my voice coming out as sharp as glass. "Don't ever say that."

He blinks at me, his arms dropping to his sides.

Regretting my outburst, I collect myself and calm my voice. I continue walking. "What I meant was: don't wish for anything different than what is, because it's pointless. What's done is done, whether the reason is Krad using his own powers all the time and wearing the body he's in down, or if it's from the deal my ancestor set with the devil, it doesn't matter. You can't wish death on yourself. I already told you that I want to give my life, so it's all right."

There's a pause in our conversation as Niwa thinks this over. "I guess so," he grumbles. "But it's still not fair. I was you to live as long as I do. I don't want to lose my friend over some dumb, pre-determined destiny."

Somehow, I always find my heart swelling when he worries about me or shows how much he cares. I hate that feeling, but I don't hate him for causing it. As I've thought in the past, I can never bring myself to hate Daisuke; being with him during moments like these are the only times that give me any real sense of joy. The reason for my joy, however, is not something I want to express. It's enough that he's become important to me, unlike what I intended.

We step in silence for the remainder of the journey. We arrive at my home, which I'm glad to say I live alone in, even after that morning in the car with my 'father'. He had offered to take me home to live with him like I used to. Naturally, I refused. I strongly dislike that man, despite the fact that he raised me and shares some of the same interests… like capturing Dark.

I unlock the door and flick on the light. Niwa follows me in and slips off his shoes. "I haven't been here since Saehara-kun and I visited you!" he exclaims as he enters the living room. "Some stuff has changed…but it's mostly the same." He's smiling again.

I know he's politely referring to Takeshi's comment about how I live like a lone bachelor, my whole home one giant, empty mess. I don't own much, but at the time I hadn't cleaned much, either. I started my cleanliness the day they left.

A vague thought crosses my mind. I don't want Niwa to get in any more trouble with his mother than he needs to, so I ask: "Does your mother know you're staying with someone after school?"

He nods. "Yup. I told her I'd be studying with someone… although I sort of left out who. My guess is, she thinks I'm at Riku-san's." he sets down his bag and gets out some books, all of which I've learned cover to cover before anyone else my age.

"Would like a drink?" I offer casually, remembering my manners. I head for the kitchen when I hear a 'yes, please' reply. As I reach for a water bottle in the refrigerator, I notice a black and plaid jacket on one of the chairs at the table. I thanked the redhead for letting me borrow it, but I accidentally left it on when I got into the car with my 'dad'. Figuring now is the best time to return it, I grab the water bottle and pick up the jacket. I toss them both, aiming for Niwa's feet.

"Whoa!" he says, startled. The jacket got more loft than I meant for it to and ended up landing on his head. He yanks it off, chuckling lightly. "I forgot I lent this to you. Thanks for giving it back! You probably would've kept it, since I'm so forgetful." He picks up the bottle and cracks it open with ease. I watch as the lump in his throat bobs while he takes a couple sips.

Blinking to avert my eyes, I join Daisuke on the floor. He moves to lay on his stomach. I prefer to sit cross-legged. He has the books widespread on the floor around us. He selects the math book first and flips it open to the latest chapter studied by his class.

"So," he mutters, "I thought we could start with the algebra and geometry… I stink at all those formulas and equations."

I push my glasses up further on my nose and take a peek. Geometry, algebra… math in general is pretty easy for me. Languages, too; they're both all about logic and memorization. "Here," I say, "Start by balancing out the equations with the givens."

"Okay," he smiles up at me.

And so our study session began.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

When the redhead finally left, I found my mind drifting in the silence of my apartment. It bothers me, this silence; normally I wouldn't think twice about it, but since our little rescue mission for Risa-san, I can't stand not hearing Daisuke speak. Silence is a lot louder when he's not around. And he's been around a lot since then. I think, in telling him about our true pasts, he feels closer to me as a friend. I'd like to think so, but I can't get my hopes up.

'_Certainly not,'_ Krad's voice whispers so clearly it's almost as if he's behind me, talking directly into my ear. _'Because he won't ever return your feelings… not entirely, anyhow. He loves that Riku girl. But I'm here for you.'_

"Shut up," I snap at my so-called angel. "I don't want to talk to you about him."

'_You rarely do,'_ Krad replies. _'I wonder why?'_

"It doesn't matter why," I hiss. "You don't even like Daisuke. You tried to choke him when we were going to rescue Harada-san. So don't even try and act like –"

'_Oh, I wasn't,'_ the blonde says. _'It's a pity, really… Dark's tamer doesn't know what he's missing. You're such a nice boy, trying to find your own way and secretly… what was the phrase the redhead used? Oh yeah: break the chain.'_ He pauses as he muses to himself, _'Although I doubt you can do it. That's breaking your genetics, you know.'_

"I told you to _shut up_," I grumble through grit teeth. Normally I try to ignore anything Krad says; I don't want to take him seriously. Half the time he can be pretty sinister for a white-feathered angel. He's not like Dark; even though I hate Dark Mousy, I know Dark doesn't hurt Daisuke the way Krad hurts me: by using his wings and multiple magicks. Krad says that I'm everything to him, but it's a lie. I know he's just using my body as tool for his own goals. It's this nature of his that's the reason why I tried not to let anything become dear to me. I put that distance around me and others to save them… and myself.

'_Aw, now Satoshi, you don't mean that… I do too care about you. I help you whenever I can,'_ he protests.

"Will you stop reading my thoughts already?!" I bark. Maybe if I go to sleep, he'll lose interest…

'_Fine,'_ Krad sniffs. _'I'll leave you alone. …For now.'_

And then I'm left in the quiet of my home once more.

I sigh to myself and walk into the kitchen. It's late, just passed dinner hour, and I haven't eaten since lunch. I don't get hungry often, but I know I should eat something… it's not wise to skip meals. I put on a kettle of water, aiming to make some tea or instant noodles (if I have any in all these mostly-vacant cupboards). Yet I turn off the water before it can boil and decide to take that idea to get rid of Krad and use it. Sleep sounds pretty good all of a sudden.

I pace down the hallway and enter my bedroom. It's dark, full of spidery shadows from my window and unrecognizable shapes formed in the nook and crannies of the room, but I don't want to turn on the light. Instead, I peel off my clothes and fall onto the mattress. Today was the last day of the week, so I roll over and shut off my alarm. Even on weekends I will wake up on school time, but not this weekend; I want to sleep in. I feel… oddly exhausted.

In fact, I've felt that way for a while now. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a sign of how much time I have left on this world.

Depressing, perhaps, but it's a fact.

_[/end ch.1]_

* * *

**A/N: Future chapters will be longer (around 3,000 words or more, hopefully). And I hope I didn't make Krad seem too evil? I don't like him much (he's pretty, but a bit cruel), so I might portray him accidentally as a bastard when he isn't too much of one. Warn me if I start doing that, alright? Oh! And review, please. I don't know if I have Sato-kun in character or not; it's hard when I'm trying to write him in first person. :/**


	2. Two: Feverish

**A/N: There's this song by Blue October called 'Two A.M. Lovesick' that is otherwise unfitting, but one verse reminds me of dear young Daisuke:  
****_"_****_I paint to kill the dead saints  
I paint to make it clear  
My colors run in blue and grey  
But they give hope to someone dear"_**

**Which reminds me: there is a difference between 'gray' and 'grey'; 'grey' is the silvery color between black and white, whereas 'gray' is something old and worn. So when I use 'grey' in this chapter... you know what I mean, haha.**

**Closing remark: I still hope I'm keeping everyone in-character. Also: right now there is a lot of fluff, but there will be more action and funny stuff later, but still a lot of fluff. It'll be fun, huhu.

* * *

**

_[Ch.2; start]_

I wake to the sound of rain. I turn and glace at my window. As my eyes adjust, I notice there is indeed rain. It's coming down in thick sheets, forcefully pelting the glass. I sigh to myself. I don't like the rain; it soaks your hair and clothes and chills you to the bone in the process. The only thing it's good for is keeping plants alive and bodies of water full. Other than that, it's not pleasant.

I stretch my sleepy muscles and yawn. I don't know why I bother trying to sleep in… it's only an hour passed my average wake-up time right now. Do I have some kind of inner clock? I can't blame the rain for waking me…

'_Good morning,'_ Krad greets. I inwardly glare at him and reach for my blankets. I toss them aside and climb out of bed, heading for the bathroom. Cool tiles meet my bare feet, and I shiver slightly. I turn the water to warm and rinse my face to wash the nightly grime away. I dab my face dry and stare, blinking, into the mirror. The ends of my bangs are damp, and my blue-grey eyes are squinted out of habit from when I'm not wearing my glasses. _'Well isn't that a sexy picture?'_

"Not this morning, Krad," I grumble. I lean away from the mirror and pinch between my eyes. I have a slight headache starting.

_'I'm just teasing you. Lighten up, will you? I promise I won't stir any trouble today. I'm just bored.'_

I clench my teeth. "You're bored because you're constantly wanting to fight. And when you're not, you get restless."

'_Oh, you know me so well,' _the blonde chuckles. _'But seriously, I'm bored. When is the thief going to steal again? I'm ready to face him.'_

"There are hardly any artworks left to steal," I remind him as I walk into the kitchen. I get the jug of milk out of the fridge. Here's breakfast.

Inside me, Krad frowns. _'Shouldn't you eat more than that? You were pretty dizzy last night. You need to keep your strength up; it wouldn't be too good if you passed out at school again.'_

I'm tempted to roll my eyes. I reach for a banana and draw the peel down the side, one section after another until four hang around my fist. I take a bite. "Satisfied?" I ask grumpily. I swallow and reach for the milk I recently poured.

'I guess. It's better than nothing. At least Niwa's mother packs him extra food for lunch every school day; you get more nutrition then.'

"Whatever," I mutter. I hate that Krad interferes with nearly everything I do. Sometimes, though, he's makes a valid point.

I finish my breakfast and hop into the shower. It's cool at first, but the water slowly heats up. I try to match the fall of the shower with the rain against the wall to clear my head. Why it needs clearing is a bit embarrassing, but the truth is while eating I remembered the dreams I had last night. One in particular had Daisuke in it, or at least who I'm sure was supposed to be Daisuke; dreams aren't all that accurate with appearances.

I've dreamt of him a lot since I told him about the Hikari secret. Half the dreams are echoes of what he told me that day… random things, like saying our friendship won't be destroyed like everything else precious to me. I recall that, in the dream, the serious look on his face when he said that was as clear as day, unlike everything else in the dream.

…Or at the moment. For as soon as I step out of the shower, everything wavers for a second and I drop to my knees.

'_Satoshi!' _I hear Krad exclaim in my head.

I shiver as the cold air mixes with my wet skin, and I shut my eyes tight to stop my sight from spinning.

What's wrong with me? I can't be having all these dizzy spells; it's not safe. The pit of my stomach lurches, warning me of the possibility of my fear coming true: I may have less time than I figured.

I struggle to stand, my eyes remaining closed. I hold my head with one hand and reach for the towel on the rack near me. My eyes pop open. Things around my bathroom focus and suddenly I'm completely fine. I exhale slowly and shiver again.

'_You doing okay now, Satoshi?' _my so-called angel wonders.

I finish drying off my body. "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

For once, he agrees. _'If you say so.' _

I don't hear from him for the rest of the day.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

With a dark colored umbrella I head outside. I need a few things from the store, and today is as good a day as any.

I walk all the way down to the nearest convenience store and shake my umbrella closed as I enter. I head for a basket. My hand reaches out to grab one, but as I do someone else's grabs one first. I peer sideways and see the older Harada twin staring at me. "Oh! Hiwatari-san!" she says. "Funny seeing you here on a day like this."

My eyes automatically fall on the window. A day like this… yeah, I probably shouldn't be out when it's raining. Not when I nearly fainted this morning.

She cocks her head at me and smiles. "Here." Riku-san offers the basket in her hands and takes another for herself when I reach for it. Her hair is shorter again. I notice every time she lets it grow or when she crops it. Right now it's barely skimming her earlobes. She's such a tomboy compared to her girly-girl sister. It makes sense that she's the one Daisuke truly ended up falling for.

And the irony of her crushing on him first (everyone, including myself, could tell this, but Daisuke of 'course didn't pick up on it. He's rather dense that way) while he liked her sister is a bit humorous. Almost like a comedic romance novel. Comedic for anyone who reads it, anyhow… it's not very funny to me.

"What're you buying?" she wants to know. Riku isn't a nosy girl like her sister, but she is curious. And thoughtful; I'm sure the possibility of Niwa being Dark has crossed her mind. Like me, however, she despises Dark.

"Not much," I reply.

"Hey, um, I was wondering…" Harada mentions as we both browse the flavors of instant noodles. "…Was Niwa-kun with you yesterday? His mom called my house, saying something about him studying for finals with me. He obviously wasn't."

Hmm, so Daisuke guessed right when he said his mother would think of Riku first. I nod my head. "Yes, he was with me," I admit. "Why do you ask? Is he in trouble with his mother?"

"I'd expect so," she says with a sigh as she places a chicken flavored ramen cup in her basket. She frowns and gets an edge to her voice, as if reprimanding Niwa. "It's not respectful to lie to your parents."

"He didn't lie," I defend, "He said he was going to study with a friend; he simply didn't say whom."

The shorthaired girl sends me a look. "That's technically lying, since he didn't specify where he was."

I shrug.

She reaches for something else but puts it back on the self, but then second-guesses herself and plops it into the basket. "Niwa-kun can be such a baka at times," she murmurs. I don't argue with her there; Niwa really can be an idiot. She shakes her head. "But he's my baka, I suppose." She turns to wink at me. "_Our_ baka."

I give her a quizzical look.

Riku-san laughs, but I notice a bitter tone in the background. "Don't play dumb with me, Hiwatari-san. I saw him giving you a piggyback a while ago."

I feel my face flush slightly. As an excuse not to look at her, I grab for something on a shelf that I don't really need, but wouldn't hurt to have. "That was a fluke. I'd fainted, and he was helping me."

"Because he cares about you," she states. I hear that vague bitterness again. It makes me wonder if she was searching for him that day but couldn't reach him because of what happened with me. "He's a good friend of yours. A good friend to everybody. But when I see you look at him, I don't think you see him the way he sees you. In the past, I thought you hated him. I get it now, though: you feel the same way about him that I do. That's why you decline every girl that comes after you at school, and why you distance yourself."

I bite my inner lip to stop from saying anything that might give me away. I knew the older Harada was sharp, but I didn't know she was this sharp. I give her kudos for being so perceptive; but then again, she is a girl, even if she's wearing denim overalls (versus a skirt like her twin) at the moment. And everyone knows girls get things about love that guys don't.

I keep my face calm as she forces herself to lighten the mood. "Don't worry, I won't tell. I wouldn't do that. Besides, I'm too shy to. It's none of my business, and I guess my jealousy got the better of me." Harada-san bows her head. "Sorry about that. I'm just a bit self-conscious, since every time Niwa-kun goes to, uh, kiss me," she blushes, "He hesitates, and runs. I always wonder why, too. I'm afraid of losing him, especially after I know about his previous crush on my sister." She looks back up at me, and I soften my features. She's pretty vulnerable, this girl. I sympathize with her on all this. "Well, I better leave you to your shopping. Plus, I have to go pay for this. I'll see you in school, Hiwatari-san!"

I watch Riku flee. After a moment, I resume my task. She's out of the store by the time I pay.

I'm hung up on what she said. It sounded like she was sympathizing with me as well, once she got passed her jealousy issues. I never stopped to think about how similar she and I might be since we hold identical emotions for the same person.

Her teeny speech reminded me of something Daisuke's father said to me the night I was at their house: 'About Daisuke… If he can become your best friend, then that would be fantastic!'

I had been surprised upon hearing that, but I suppose his lack of a grudge on my family and want of peace (at least, that's the aura I feel emitting off of him when he gave me that ring in the same conversation) would make him desire a close friendship between Daisuke and I. Personally, I think the redhead has already completed his father's wish. He even told me that, our extreme differences aside, he feels close to me. I can't describe what those words meant to me, so at the time I had put up my best indifferent face.

Because of what Riku mentioned to me today, I see now that things will only get harder from here on out. Harder for me to carry out my duties, harder to keep Krad at bay, and harder to keep my feelings a secret from him. He's dense… but not _that_ dense. I've dropped a few hints, like telling him how I couldn't hate him and whatnot, and by all the physical closeness I try to engage in between us on occasion, but he never picks up on it as far as I can tell. I almost want him to, but I think (for now) it's better left unsaid.

I open my umbrella and reenter the dreary, grey world that is rainy Japan. It's quiet outside, less cars than usual; I suppose no one wants to leave the house on a day off of school and work as ill-weathered as this.

While walking home I grow increasingly chill. I'm not wet, but I feel like I am. I feel soaked to the core, the iciness seeping into my veins. Am I getting sick? That's the last thing I need.

Sighing to myself, I make my way home and stuff my purchases in their proper places before lying on my bed. I stare up at the ceiling and touch my forehead with one hand. My hands could be a tad cold, but that doesn't mean I don't have a fever; the skin above my brows is scorching, far too hot to be normal. I'll have to stay home from school if this fever doesn't break soon.

My eyes drift close, and it feels like minutes until I hear a knock at my front door. I slowly crack them open and see that a few hours have flown by. Sorely, I stand and make my way to the door as I slip on my glasses. When I open the door, my azure eyes connect with crimson. "Oi, Hiwatari! I thought maybe we could study again… Wait, are you alright? You look pale."

"I'm just tired," I lie. I step aside to let him in. Niwa shrugs and enters. I can tell by the slight furrow in his brows that he doesn't believe me. I close the door and glace his way. "I saw the elder Harada twin at the store today. She said your mother called her house. Did you get in trouble?"

The redhead chuckles weakly and rubs the back of his head. "Heh, heh… yeah, but it's nothing. This time, though, I told her where I was going. She got all huffy and said, 'don't let your guard down!', but I know I don't have to worry." He sends one of his smiles. "Anyway, I have some more questions, especially about the science…"

I nod and sit beside him. He pulls out a science book and flips it open to a chapter somewhere in the middle. A slip of paper falls out, and I notice that it's a drawing. I pick it up. "What's this?" I ask.

Daisuke flushes slightly and takes it gently from my hand. "Er, this is merely a doodle I did… I'm still debating on making it a painting or not."

I smile too slight for him to notice, and tell him: "I think you should. It'd make a great painting."

"Ah… thanks," he says bashfully. I learned when I was at his house how he feels about his art. But he's pretty good at it… pretty damn good, in fact. It's odd, I think he's the first Niwa to want to create art instead of constantly steal it. He clears his throat and fires off a question about plate tectonics.

I don't understand him. He could ask anyone to study with him for finals, yet he chose me, someone who's meant to be his enemy. Of 'course, his reasoning could be because I've helped him on his homework in the past when he thrust it upon me, and since I told him about my college diploma. Part of me hopes he's not here solely based on my smarts.

Niwa leans in and looks at some of the wording over my shoulder as he fills out the study guide for the science portion of the exam. He pulls away and stares at me. "Hiwatari-kun," he states to catch my attention. I glance up at him. "Let me feel your forehead."

Uh-oh, it appears he felt the heat radiating off my body when he leaned in. I gulp inaudibly and wave a hand. "No, I –"

Daisuke shakes his head. "I'm not taking no for an answer. What if you're sick? I don't want to be a bother to you if you're sick!"

"I'm perfectly fine," I lie. I try to get back to the books, but he's stubborn. How like him to care so much.

"If you're not, then I can be wrong. But if you are sick, I need to know," he says.

He slides off my glasses and moves closer. He then lifts my bangs and his own, placing his forehead against mine, a classic way of telling if someone has a fever. I bet Dark hates the closeness of this; I know I'm not very comfortable with it myself. The pink blooming on my cheeks is proof. I hope he doesn't notice.

"Hmm…" Niwa hums to himself. He removes his forehead and crosses his arms as he moves away. His bangs are mussed cutely above his eyes. "You _are_ sick! Why didn't you tell me? I could've left and let you rest!"

I cast my eyes to the book on my left. "I already rested. It's just a fever; it'll pass." I'm not so sure of my words, but I have to sound sure for his sake.

"Fever or not, you're sick. Did you take any medicine? Or tea? My mom makes me honey-lemon tea when I'm sick, or ginger if I have the flu."

"I haven't had anything," I admit. "Except breakfast."

"And what did you have for breakfast?" he demands to know.

"A banana and a glass of milk. That's all."

"That's not good enough!" Daisuke protests. He leaps to his feet and heads for my kitchen. "Pardon me, but I'm using your kitchen. I'm going to make you tea and something to eat. You need to keep your strength up!"

That's exactly what Krad said to me this morning…

"Here you go," he says after a while. He gives me a mug that instantly warms my hands. Daisuke smiles. "Hope I didn't make it too sweet."

I sip cautiously so not to burn my tongue, and I'm warmed to my bones as the tea flows down my throat. "No, it's exactly right," I murmur.

"Good," he grins. "Hmm, maybe we should get a blanket for you. You're supposed to sweat out a fever." He leaves to fetch one from my room. I don't think it's necessary, but I can't stop him.

Niwa's so kind to me… it's confusing. Why does he do things like this? We were destined to be rivals, and yet, like Kosuke-san has wished, we're 'best' friends, so to speak. It kills me, because as much as I fight with myself – and Krad as well – over my feelings for the boy in front of me, I can't figure him out. How can he think of me as merely a friend when he acts so caring?

"Here you go!" Daisuke chirps. He tosses the blanket around me like he had the jacket I returned yesterday. "Now then, do you have any cold medicine? I'll get it for you."

"There's some in the kitchen cupboard above the stove," I reply softly from inside the mug of tea. He bounds off the couch to the kitchen and I hear him shuffling around.

"Why do you have so many headache pill bottles?" he calls.

I should've known he'd see those; I have a lot to numb the headaches I've been getting these past two months. I also have a bottle or two of sleeping pills in case I need to rest up but am unable to. My bouts of insomnia happen every so often, although it never showed when I was in school. I made sure I didn't show any weakness. I couldn't care less as of late; I have no strength to. I curse my own feebleness, but the state of affairs can't be helped.

Hmm. Now I guess I know how Daisuke felt when he knew I suspected him to be Dark. He was careful not to show any of his thieving skills, which lead to him literally falling into my lap. That had been a strange and unexpected day… like today.

"Found them!" Niwa's voice shatters my thoughts. He returns to me and holds out his hand. "I think one will be enough. Take it so you can get better, Hiwatari-kun."

I mumble an incoherent 'thank you' as I take it from his palm and shove it in my mouth. The pill is bitter and a gulp of hot tea is called for. I swallow and grimace as the pill travels downward.

"There," Daisuke says, pleased with how things are. He sits next to me. "Do you want me to leave so you can rest? I can always study for finals later."

"No," I reply a bit too hastily. I blink and stare down at the mug in my hands. "I… like the company." On a normal occasion I would rush him out the door, but today… I feel pathetic and crave his attention now that he's here. It's disgusting, really. I don't know why I torture myself like this.

Like always, Niwa offers a generous, sincere smile. "See," he whispers, "I told you our friendship wouldn't be destroyed." He brings his legs up and crosses them, his hands holding them together by the ankles. "You know… since I might be here a while and I don't want you to explain too much, maybe you could quiz me." He leans over and picks up a study guide. He holds it up to me. "Do you mind? We could talk or do something else instead if you don't want to…"

I shrug and snatch the guide from his hands. I glance down at the paper and squint slightly.

"Oh! Your glasses… I took them off…" he begins searching, trying to remember where he set them.

"I don't need them," I remind him. "It's simply habit that I squint at things." It's only a partial lie, but that doesn't matter. "Get ready, I'm going to ask you one…"

We spent the remainder of the afternoon like that. On the couch quizzing and talking idly. It's not something I'm used to; I'm more of the loner type, but… it wasn't horrible. I actually enjoyed myself. And I think Niwa did, too.

_[/end ch.2]_


	3. Three: Stop It!

**A/N: Ooh, it's battle time! Heh, heh... _fun_. *mischievous smirk***

* * *

_[Ch.3; start]_

Back to school again. Thanks to Niwa's nursing of me, I felt well enough to be at school once more. It was anomalous having him do that for me the other day… it stirred a lot of emotions in me, and I nearly transformed a few times because of it.

You see, unlike Dark who seems to solely react to romantic feelings, Krad will react to extreme feelings of any kind: love, envy, rage, detestation… things of that nature. He doesn't react to sadness or dull emotions, but instead ones that get your heart and/or adrenaline racing.

Today is cloudy and cooler after the rain. It's a pleasant day, and I don't mind going to school for some reason.

I trek down the street and enter the school grounds as a warning bell chimes. I see a mop of bright red hair step into the building. I smile distantly to myself and make my way towards the same doors Niwa entered through. Once inside, I report to my first class, although the teacher knows about the college I took, henceforth she never assigns me any real schoolwork to do. So I read. Usually translated American novels, because many of them are quite interesting. I can speak English, too, but I dislike reading it; it's takes up too much brainpower, and with the state I'm in lately, I don't like working harder than I have to. I'm just not up for it; I need to conserve my energy for other things higher on my priority list than reading.

My classes fly by, and soon the day comes to a close. I mindlessly head for Daisuke's classroom, and I earn a glimpse of him as I lean in the doorway. He's being teased by Saehara Takeshi, one of his close friends. I can hear them talking.

"Ah! Cut it out, Saehara-kun!" the redhead is complaining as Takeshi hangs on him, nearly choking him.

"No way, man! I need ya!" He releases his grip, smirking, and points a finger in Niwa's face until his fingertip is pushing into Niwa's nose. "You're coming with me tonight. Another warning letter from Dark Mousy was found this morning, saying he's going to steal this really valuable, new piece at the museum. He's coming tonight at nine, which is a bit later than usual, but that's all the more reason for me to catch him in the act! It's all part of being an aspiring journalist reporter. But… every good reporter needs an assistant. So you're going to help me, right?" and he then flicks the nose his finger rested on. Niwa hardly seems to notice.

So Niwa Emiko-san is at it again. I can tell it was her doing because of the shocked face the redhead is wearing currently.

'_Yes! Another strike by the master phantom thief Dark. Time to –' _

_Krad, _I think in response, _You're not going to come out. I'll handle Dark the way I always do: _without_ your help. _

He makes a snarling noise. _'Not this time, Satoshi. I have to face him. It's been too long…'_

Niwa's gaze trails to where I'm standing, and he smiles when his eyes connect with my face. He gets out of his chair, ignoring Saehara, and comes over to me. "I'm glad that you're at school; your fever must be gone."

"It is," I reply curtly.

'_Hey, give him a little threat about tonight. Tell him I'm –' _my so-called angel whispers as if in my ear.

_No. Because you're not going to come out, _I mentally growl to shut him up.

"Great!" Daisuke grins. He cocks his head slightly and lowers his voice. "Um, so, I bet you heard about Dark stealing something of yours again…"

"One of the last pieces we have. Yes, I heard." I cross my arms.

He grins sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I didn't –"

"Know you were going to steal it tonight. Your mother must be behind the warning letter." I state flatly.

He head drops and he sighs. "Yeah. I think she's trying to get back at me for going to your house. Kind of like a reminder of who you and I are."

"Who we're _meant_ to be," I correct. We're not our inner angels (or should I say demons?). We're nothing like them. Niwa is much kinder and more innocent than Dark, whereas I am less brash and more in control of my emotions than Krad. Krad will burst with rage or any other spiked emotion and attack, while I take the high rode and plan things out. Dark doesn't care about others (except Daisuke, perhaps) and flirts with women, while Niwa helps everybody and is very shy. Both one thing the four of us have in common is our strength; whether it's mental, physical, or emotional strength, we all have it. None of us are weak, although I may be losing that 'strong' status because of my… _health_.

"Ah, that's true," Daisuke agrees softly. "Well, school's about to be let out. I guess I'll see you tonight," he jokes half-heartedly.

"Tonight," I nod. And then I turn on my heel and exit the room.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

Nine o' clock came swiftly. The usual paparazzi and police and museum guards were present, dozens of newscasters and reporters swarming the scene, trying to catch a glimpse of their beloved and hated phantom thief.

"How are things looking, Saehara?" I ask Takeshi's father.

The older man turns towards me, a smirk on his face "We've got him this time, Hiwatari. There's no way he can steal the valuable this time! We have lasers, shipped this morning."

"Lasers?" I prod.

'_That's certainly new,' _Krad adds.

His smirk grows to show his teeth. "That's right! We have them posted all around the artwork, programmed to target anything that tries to touch the prized piece. If Dark so much as attempts to lay a finger on it… zap! He'll be in for a heated shock."

Small panic rises in my chest. "Will the laser… hurt him?" I question. I need to know if it will. Because if it does, then it'll be hurting Niwa as well, and that's the last thing I want to happen.

Saehara winks. "Only a smidge; enough to make him know that we mean business. But the lasers' power increases with each touch. So if he keeps trying… it'll start to burn worse and worse. We'll teach that thief a lesson!"

I gulp unnoticeably and rush off towards the doors leading into the exhibit. I glance around, and then down at my watch. Two until nine. I have no time to warn Niwa… _dammit._

At nine on the button, I hear the brush of wings and a soft_ thut _as someone lands on their feet.

Dark Mousy has arrived.

"Don't worry," I hear his deep voice mutter to himself, although I know he's actually talking to Daisuke. "I see the lasers. I don't know what they're capable of, but I'll be careful." He pauses and turns to his wings. "Wiz, you wait outside that window. I'll signal you when I need you." The black bird-like creature nods it's head and flies off.

Dark doesn't know I'm watching him. He must not be able to see me hiding around the corner behind one of the showcases.

"Alright then… time to get to work," he says cockily. He swoops down from the ledge near the ceiling and comes up close to my family's piece of history. He looks at it from all sides, a hand to his chin. "Hmm… What do you think, Daisuke?" he asks. After a minute, he nods. "That's what I was thinking. We can't touch it unless we want the lasers to hit us." Dark grins. "Saehara sure did his research this time."

I watch in wonder as the purple-haired teen pops out a piece of glass. No alarms sound, so I'm guessing he shut them off before hand. Typical.

He takes the glass and holds it in front of one of the laser's line of vision. Dark then slips his hand between the glass and the artwork and lays a tentative finger on it. A laser fires and strikes the glass, but rebounds and melts itself. I blink in shock. Why had it been so simple?

But that's when I notice Dark jumping back and dropping the glass to shatter to the ground. Apparently, another laser hidden where he couldn't see had struck him in the shoulder. He hisses out a curse under his breath. "Shit. That stings like a son of a – Oh, sorry 'bout that, Daisuke." I can't tell if he's apologizing for getting Niwa's body hurt or swearing. He winces, and I figure it's probably the first reason. "I'll be more careful next time. But I think someone might've heard that glass shatter."

Sure enough, I hear stomping behind me. Some guards are on their way here.

"Well, we can't go home to Mommy empty handed," he mocks. "So let's try again."

Dark reaches for my family's piece once more but this time moves quickly, snatching it up and immediately beginning to run. Lasers fire at him left and right, scorching holes into his clothing and skin from all directions. He utters a curse with each blast and gets a bit slower after every hit. He whistles, which I assume is the 'signal', because Wiz soars in to meet him and lifts him out a window.

And then, just like that, he's gone.

I grow increasingly angry. The conflict within me makes me furious. Why had I stood by and watched? Why couldn't I have warmed him in time? Now Daisuke's body is hurt. And now Krad is itching to take the lead and storm after the thief.

I grit my teeth and succumb to the transformation. I can't bite it down when I'm this conflicted. Krad unleashes a whir of tingling pain as he rips his wings out of my back. His brain takes control of my body, and I'm flung into bright whiteness in the background. I watch through his eyes what happens.

Krad breaks through the glass of a window and flies across the sky towards Dark, who's suddenly aware of Krad's presence. He urges Wiz to fly faster.

Below, I can hear Saehara Takeshi chuckle. "Yes! It's _both_ of them! The one with white wings I saw when Harada-san went missing, as well as Dark! Man oh man, this'll make one great shot…" Clicking from a camera sounds and I see teeny flashes. Dammit, now everyone for sure will know about Krad!

'_Krad, you bakayaro! Now someone has pictures of you!'_

"Oh well," the blonde says, brushing me off. He's in hot pursuit and doesn't want me bugging him. Fine, I'll shut up. He obviously doesn't care about staying a secret.

A sickening, foreboding feeling makes my stomach sink to my knees. Krad senses it, I'm sure, but he's too keen on getting Dark to say anything about it. I say something, however. _'Krad, I got a dreadful feeling about this. Stop before something bad happens.'_

"Not on your life, Satoshi. I'm getting this bastard once and for all."

If I weren't feeling so sick and angry, I would roll my eyes at him.

Krad pushes onward and tackles Dark midair. Mousy drops the artwork and it falls away, it's collision with the hard ground softened by a bush it lands in. The two angels roll a bit and fall to the ground, dirt rising from their combined weight. I grunt in Krad's mind as I feel the blow impacting my body, and helplessly watch Dark's face, so close to Krad's/mine, scowl maliciously. "Get off me, Krad!" he barks.

"No. I rather like this position; it renders you defenseless, and enables me to do THIS!"

The blonde punches Dark in the jaw. I watch a splattering of spit fly to the grass beside the purple-haired teen's head. He turns his head back to glare at Krad in the eyes, and I feel the piercing gaze go through me as well. Dark reaches up and wraps his fingers around Krad's neck. I feel my lungs constrict and gasp for air. Oh Kami, he's strangling me…

Suddenly, Dark releases his grip. Krad/I stagger backwards and suck in air like a water-starved fish. "Run, Hikari-kun!" Dark calls out, but I know this isn't Dark speaking.

Daisuke just called my by my real name like I asked him to… and saved me for the umpteenth time. If he hadn't intervened, I would be choked to death by now…

'_Aren't you listening to him?!'_ I snap at Krad. _'Move!'_

A bit slow to react, Krad spreads his wings and flies in the other direction. I puzzle over what he's doing… Until I see through his eyes Krad aligning himself with Dark's body, still on the ground, struggling to stand as he holds his mandible.

'_You're not going to…' _I mutter inside of Krad.

He smirks. "I'm going to charge him."

'_No!'_ I burst forth, but Krad ignores me and half-falls, half-flies downward at a sharp angle, the wind roaring in my ears.

I see Dark's red-purple eyes grow wide in shock. Then his brows slant towards his nose and he bares his teeth. It's not Daisuke in control any longer. That brief moment was all the redhead had.

Now it's the two angels battling one-on-one, us tamers lost in the shadows.

The two bodies collide, the impact knocking Dark off his feet. He kicks his legs and sends Krad and me high into the air, far in front of the blank-winged one. Full of rage that burns me inside, Krad's eyes zoom to Dark's face and he raises a palm. I know what's coming.

Blistering pain shoots down my arm as Krad charges one of his spells. An invisible force connects with Dark's neck and beings tossing him around the trees and bushes nearby. The blonde laughs cruelly.

I hear a crowd approaching not too far away. They watch to witness the action, I suppose. I pray for them not to find us. Who knows that video footage or snapshots they can capture if they find us…

'_Krad, stop it! Onegai, Krad! Stop hurting Daisuke and flee before everyone finds us!'_ I plead.

"I'm not hurting the Niwa brat," he grinds out. "I'm crippling my enemy."

_'But your enemy is connected to –'_

"Who? Your _friend_? Tch. You sound like _him_ when you say that. Lay off and let me do what I was destined, Satoshi." Krad hisses at me.

I want to hit him. Too bad we share a body, or else I would.

Dark somehow pries free from Krad's magical grasp. He utters something similar to 'forgive me, Daisuke' and hurls a fiery ball of black our way. The magic hits Krad in the chest and blows him backward. I hear my shoulder pull out of it's socket as Krad rolls to a stop in the grass. Oh, how lovely… I have a dislocated shoulder. It's going to hurt when I pop it back in place when this is over.

I have to stop this fight before it becomes serious. _'Krad,' _I say with a commanding tone, _'Let me take control. Now.'_

"My, my…" he pants as he rolls onto his back and winces at the numbing pain shooting to his brain from his shoulder – or, rather, _my_ shoulder. "Aren't we pushy…?"

'_**Now**__, Krad!' _I yell in his head. I hope that woke up his senses.

"No… way." he breathes out in response. He gets to his feet and smirks in Dark's direction as he holds his/my limp arm. "So, brother," he huffs in mock affection, "Are you enjoying yourself?" Krad holds up his hand and uses more magic, the kind of magic that gives me a nosebleed. I can already taste it accumulating on my tongue.

He starts choking Dark with the same spell he's used in the past on Niwa when we went to save Harada Risa-san. _'Krad, I'm warning you…! If you don't stop now, I'll…!'_

"Is that a threat, Satoshi? How can you possibly threaten me? I'm –"

The blonde gets cut off as Dark faints in his magical grip, his body relaxing. A small glow changes him back to his tamer.

_'Dammit, Krad! Let him go! He's not Dark anymore, so let him go! Let me take over before everyone arrives and sees you, some college-looking winged man strangling a seemingly helpless middle schooler!'_

"Fine!" he snaps. "It's no longer fun, anyhow." He drops Daisuke and doesn't bother to cushion his landing. He picks up the piece of Hikari artwork and steps over near the redhead, know that when I'm myself again I'll want to assist him. The white-winged angel forces himself to go back to his place inside my subconscious, or wherever it is he resides. I feel my body shiver as it reverts to it's normal form.

Then, I drop to my knees, the heavy weight of exhaustion filling my muscles and bones.

One arm slung over the valuable piece, the other dislocated and accidentally slung over Daisuke's stomach as he lies next to me, I struggle to stay conscious. I've never been so worn out from Krad using my body…

I force myself to turn my head and look at the boy beside me. It's an awkward position – both of us at a bit of an angle with our heads closer than our feet are, and my arm around him but unable to be moved because of my shoulder, not to mention I'm on my stomach gazing at his face while he's flat on his back with his head cast towards the night sky.

That's how Takeshi found us. As soon as he came between the bushes, hoping to get a shot of the winged men, he snaps a pictures and then figures out that it's merely his schoolmates. He lowers his camera and frowns in a confused way at the two of us.

"What the –?! What're you two doing here? And, uh, why are you in that position…?!"

A position you now have a picture of and can use for blackmail and Kami knows what else. Tch.

"We… got caught up in that fight with Dark and Kr– the white one. I got my shoulder dislocated, and Niwa passed out." I explain slowly. I wince as I try to roll over and not hurt my arm. I sit up and hold my arm. My teeth grind together from the spinning of my head and the loss of blood I have thanks to my pouring nose.

"Whoa, Hiwatari! Your nose is bleeding!"

Yeah, I know that, thank you very much. "Where is everyone else? I thought I heard people following you."

Saehara walks over to me and helps me stand. I wobble a bit on my feet, but otherwise I'm fine. "There were some other news people and my dad with me, but they went further up the street. I decided to look around the trees, and man, am I glad I did! You two could've been stranded here! But, hey, how did you guys get mixed up in all this? Last time I checked, you were at the museum with us, and he was supposed to be at home…" he says, pointing to his friend. He bends down, about to pick him up.

"I'll do it," I say quickly. I owe the redhead a piggyback.

"How can you? Your arm's all messed up!"

"It won't be in a minute," I grumble. Biting my lip, I take hold of my left bicep and shove it upwards and in, arching my spine and pinching my shoulder blades together as I do so. I muffle a yell at the stars behind my teeth as aching pain cascades down my frame.

"Uh, Hiwatari, are you okay…?"

"I am now," I reply dully. My arm continues to ach in a steady throb as my nerves readjust. I hobble over to Niwa and get on my knees. "Go ahead and find someone, like Niwa's mother. I'm sure she was watching the news and is on her way here. I'll catch up to you."

"Er, alright… yeah, sure, can do!" Takeshi blabs as he shakes himself from his mildly puzzled daze. He scampers off towards the street.

In the meantime, I lift Niwa into my arms, not taking into account the pain emitting from my left. He's surprisingly lightweight, despite his growth spurt since I met him. I haul the redhead out of the trees and bushes towards the voices I hear. His parted lips skim my neck, sending a ripple of goosebumps down my spine. I ignore those along with the pain, and trudge onward. Some figures come into view, along with a car that comes to a screeching halt in front of me.

Daisuke's mother scrambles out of the vehicle and exclaims, "Dai-chan!" at the top of her lungs. She rushes to me and steals him from my back. I already miss the warmth of his body heat. "You did this to him, didn't you?!" she accuses. She cuddles the unconscious boy to her chest. "My poor baby…"

"Krad did it," I correct. "And it's because of me your son is still breathing," I can't help but add, a bitter edge to my voice. Doesn't she know that I would never hurt him? I don't want to. I never wanted to. It's all Krad's fault…

She glowers at me. "Don't talk to me like –"

"Here," I say. I hold up my family's prized piece. Inside me, Krad's raising his voice, asking me what the hell I think I'm doing. Niwa Emiko-san seems to be wondering the same thing; I can see it in her eyes.

"You're just handing it over to us?" she ventures with caution in her tone. What, she thinks I'm going to trick her? As if I have the energy to.

"Yes, I am. Dark stole it fair and square, and it's not like I can stop any Hikari works from ending up in the Niwa's hands. It's what's meant to happen, so take it," I tell her tiredly. It's been said in the past: everything that's the Hikari's eventually ends up with the Niwas. Including my heart, but no one knows about that except for Krad, the older Harada sister, and me.

Gazing at me warily, the woman nods once to her husband and Kosuke-san takes the piece from my hands. He pats me on the shoulder (mercifully not my wounded one) in the process and murmurs a low, "Thank you," to me that his wife can't hear. I blink at him but nod, a wordless 'you're welcome' of sorts. He smiles, ruffles my hair, and walks away.

His wife turns on her heel and carries her son to their car, and I hear her muttering to her husband, probably about why he acted so friendly towards me.

I sigh to myself and wipe my upper lip with my sleeve. The blood has stopped gushing, and I feel lightheaded, but I'll be okay. The damage is done, and now I'm able to go home and rest.

_[/end ch.3]_


	4. Four: Exhaustion

**A/N: Heh, this is a weird chapter... **

* * *

_[Ch.4; start]_

When morning came, I couldn't get out of bed. I stayed frozen on my back for the longest time, simply keeping my eyes on the ceiling and deciding whether or not to go to school today or feign sickness. The last option has such an appeal to it, too.

But something told me that I should stick it through. Sure, I've already graduated, and sure, I don't know if Niwa will be at school or not, yet I feel the need to go.

Finally, I decide it's best that I do attend school. So I turn over off the bed and onto the floor. I dress myself and briefly comb my hair and eat something small for breakfast. Then I head out the door to the middle school. Although I don't see why out grade is considered 'middle school'; in most other countries over seas, our grade is part of the high school. But then again, we have to enter a certain high school the way people would get into most colleges over seas. Go figure.

I pick spiky red hair out of the crowd. I watch him move slower than usual and chat idly with the twins and Saehara. He seems… off. Normally Daisuke is cheerful and energetic and bashful, but today he appears to be sluggish. I wonder if he's just as exhausted as I am. Although I'm used to wear like this on my body, and Niwa isn't, so it shows more on him than it does me.

I close in on the happy group and decide to eavesdrop. I do it often; it's grown into a habit of mine. Niwa never knows that I'm listening, but I am. I have to in case something comes up.

"Oi, Niwa, mind explaining this photo?" Takeshi grins mischievously. I freeze. Which photo does he have? The one of Krad? I hope not…

He shows the picture to Daisuke, and he immediately turns bright tomato red. "GIMME THAT!" he yells, and reaches for the snapshot.

His friend holds it high above his head, teasing him. "No way! This is gold, haha!"

"What photo?" the shorthaired twin asks, her question reflecting my earlier thoughts. She leans in and Takeshi flashes it to her, keeping Daisuke at bay with one arm. Her mouth falls open and her cheeks flush slightly.

Dammit, which picture is it?!

Risa peeks over her sister's shoulder to see the snapshot. She giggles, and my curiosity only sparks more. "Is that Niwa-kun and Hiwatari-san? What're they doing? And why are there feathers everywhere?"

"Black and white feathers, you notice," Saehara points out. I bite my lip. I know what photo that is, now. It's blackmail worthy, too, because of the position. The wannabe reporter continues, "So it makes me think Hiwatari wasn't lying when he said they got mixed up in Dark and that white-winged guy."

"Come on, Saehara-kun, give me that photo…!" Daisuke tries again, but in vain.

I step out of my hiding place and snatch the snapshot from Saehara. The redhead stares at me. "Hika… Hiwatari-kun!" he exclaims, and thankfully saved himself before he said my real name in front of his friends.

I hand him the photo without really looking at it. I don't need to; I was _there_. And I don't need anyone else to know this little fact.

"That's my only copy!" Saehara complains as Daisuke stuffs the photo in his pocket. "I need it for the school newspaper."

Niwa tenses and begins sputtering incomplete thoughts at his friend. "Wh-what?! Y-you were going to use it for the paper? Do you have any idea how – I can't let you – Man, that would be so – Gah! I'm definitely keeping it!"

"Good thing, too," I mutter to myself.

Riku decides to say something more on the topic of the terribly discomfiting photo. "What's up with that picture, anyhow? The feathers, I mean. Were you with that pervert Dark? And who owns the white feathers?"

I look between Daisuke's friends and can feel his nervousness hovering around him. "Um, well, you see…"

"Yeah! What's your connection to him, anyway? Is that thief your friend? You always take his side," Takeshi pouts.

"Er, um…" Niwa struggles. "We're… related. Yeah, that's it. He's my… cousin." He winces slightly, and I assume that Dark is giving him shit in his head right now for that statement. But it's true enough; plus, it supplies a good explaination for just about everything he's being quizzed on.

"Related?!" all three exclaim at the same time. I don't even bother to act surprised.

"Uh-huh," Niwa says slowly, trying to get them to buy the lie. "That's why I asked you what you thought of him a while back, Riku-san."

"B-but… th-that means that pervert… UHG!" Riku frets. Her hands are clenching down by her sides with a grip that would kill a horse. She seems extremely flustered. She storms off, muttering incoherent words.

"This is big news!" Takeshi cheers. "Front-cover news! Our own Niwa Daisuke is related to the great Dark Mousy! Ooh, wait… I better not tell my dad that. He might invade your house and demand stuff." He shrugs. "Oh well. Maybe it won't be on the cover of the newspaper, but it's definitely a nice plump rumor that would spread…"

"No!" Daisuke says much too hastily. He better be careful, or else he'll end up making this much more suspicious than it has to be. "…I mean, don't let this get out, okay? Because what if it reaches your dad? Like you said, it'd be pretty bad."

Saehara takes this into consideration with a hand to his chin. "Hmm, you're right." He grins. "Then we'll have to keep this between us, won't we?"

The redhead looks relieved. "Yes, that would be great." He looks to Risa. "Harada-san? Are you okay with this?"

Risa simply stares at Daisuke. I know she's in love with Dark, so I'm sure for her this is big news. She has no comments to make at the moment, however; her mouth is stuck in a 'oh wow' shape. I crack a smile and Niwa looks uncomfortable, like he doesn't know how this will affect things later on.

A small moment passes. Niwa's richly red eyes hook with mine. He silently asks for assistance from me.

I step in and handle things from there. "The bell is about to ring; we should get to class," I say to the younger Harada and Saehara. I begin walking towards the entrance of the school to prove my point.

"Ah! Wait, Hiwatari-kun…"

I slow my pace and don't dare glance the caller's way. "What is it, Niwa?"

He smiles weakly. "Thanks for getting that picture from Saehara-kun. It's really… embarrassing," he says with a blush. "And thanks for saving me at the end of that. Oh, boy… that's going to turn around and bite me later, won't it?"

"Most likely," I reply. I make sure not to look at him once while we converse down the hallway to class.

"About that photo…"

"You don't need to say anything. I know by now."

"How?"

I look at him finally, my answer written on my face: 'I was in that scrimmage, hence in that scene, so I know what went on and why it's embarrassing.'

"Oh… Well, then can you tell me what happened? I don't remember much, and –"

"Nothing happened," I establish, cutting him off. It's true; there wasn't much of anything that went on last night.

"How did we end up with the artwork? Technically, Dark didn't succeed in stealing it…"

"I gave it to your mother," I inform him.

"What? Honestly? You just… gave it to her?" he asks in disbelief.

"Mhm," I hum in confirmation.

He cocks his head at me, and then grins softly. "That was generous of you. Thank you."

I cast my eyes away and shove my way into the hallway. "Forget about it," are the last words I say to him. He should be more careful next time; I don't want another war raging between our other selves.

The bell rings, and we go to our first classes. I can't focus very well… my head is reeling, literally and figuratively. I'm thinking of that whole odd scene that just happened, which felt like more than needed. My body already underwent a lot of stress, and to have two things at once like that… humiliation because of a snapshot and Niwa making a big lie about Dark… well, it only makes for a gorilla-sized headache.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

Immediately after lunch, the announcements come on. The woman on the microphone asks for Niwa and I to come down to the office to speak with the assistant principal. I have no clue as to why, but I walk out of my class and head in that direction without protest. I don't mind ditching class; everything in middle school is rather boring, so leaving is fine by me.

I turn down an empty and silent corridor to face the destined office. Outside the door, I spot a rather tired redhead already seated in the bench outside the door. He's getting close to dozing off, his head nodding towards his shoulder. He truly is exhausted; more so than _I_ am.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and stroll over. "Niwa," I say to him as I approach. "You should've stayed home today."

He opens his eyes and blinks sleepily up at me. His eyes adjust and soften. "Heh, yeah, I probably should have," he says at last, a partial smile on his lips. Daisuke stretches and yawns as he straightens up on the bench. "My mom offered for me to, but I wanted to come to school."

I sit down beside him, vaguely wondering why he wanted to show up at school. I don't ask. Instead, I bring up: "Did they tell you to wait?"

The other boy nods his head. "Yeah. They have something to wrap up… a meeting, I think. Plus, they told me I had to wait for you."

I shift in my seat and stare at a potted plant outside the doorway. "Do you know why we were called down?" I question.

He shakes his head and yawns again. "Nope. But it must not be all that important if they're making us wait."

I shrug in agreement. A silence falls between us. Out of my peripheral view I notice Daisuke beginning to nod off. He'll be snoozing in no time if those teachers don't hurry up.

I fold my hands in my lap and lean my head back against the wall. I'm so tired. If I were as easygoing as the ruby-haired boy beside me, I would've fallen asleep long ago. Hell, if I were as easygoing as him, I would've stayed home. Unfortunately, we're both stubborn, and quite determined, so we both came to school. How foolish of us…

Suddenly, I feel an added weight on my shoulder. I stiffen and glance to my right side. Sure enough, Niwa's head is there. I blink hard, as if this moment isn't real. In those few minutes, had be really fallen asleep and slumped into me?! But he apparently had, because I can feel his warmth spreading through my sleeve.

I look away and start fighting with myself. Should I wake him? Should I let him rest? And then the probabilities arise. What if someone sees us? What if the teachers walk out right now and summon us?

He slips down further, his nose nuzzling my chest as he mumbles nonsense words in his early stage of sleep. I inhale sharply and clench the side of the bench under the armrest. My other hand is lost behind Daisuke's back, and it's growing warm, like my cheeks.

I move, not sure if it'll help jostle him awake or not, but that was a mistake. He falls into my lap, utterly asleep now. He grips my pants at the knee with one hand carelessly lays the other behind my back, which is off the back of the bench from my movement.

'_Nice one, Satoshi,'_ Krad snickers in my mind. _'This sure is comfy. How're you feeling, by the way? Want me to take over? I could wake him up for you… In fact, I could give Dark's tamer a stern talking to for you, warning him not to fall asleep in people's laps.'_

_Shut up, you're not helping the situation! _I mentally yell at him. _Leave me be!_

He doesn't say anything, but I can picture the blonde smirking devilishly.

I lift him slowly and prop him up. Having him in my lap is not very comfortable, for a number of reasons. But he feels heavier than usual, and it's hard to keep him propped in a way that doesn't make him slump in the opposite direction, which would ultimately lead to him bashing his head on the other armrest. "Niwa," I mumble, "Wake up."

His eyelids twitch, and I take it as an indication that he heard me.

"Wake up, Niwa," I repeat. I shake him a little, and he opens his eyes. I let him go, thinking he's awake, but he falls forward and presses against me. I squirm as he tries to force himself up. "Daisuke!" I hiss, my hands shoving him upwards.

My face, I bet, is as red as Niwa's gets sometimes. I need to wipe it pale again before he notices. Gah, damn my contradicting emotions… part of me never wanted to move, and now that I have, the same part of me regrets it.

"Mn… Sorry, Hikari-kun," Daisuke mutters as he wakes up finally. He leans off of me and scoots to the far side of the bench. He's blushing as well. "I… really should have stayed home, huh?"

I stare at the flooring and nod my head. He's been getting too close to me lately, and it's taking a toll on my self-control.

"Hello, boys," the assistant principal says as she steps out of her office in that moment. "Would you come inside my office? There's something we'd like to ask you," she says.

When she says 'we', I wonder if it's the royal 'we' or the collective 'we'. I find out as soon as Niwa and I enter the office and find Saehara there. And no, I'm not referring to Takeshi, I mean his father. If only it were Takeshi… I would take him and his silly photos over the police chief any day.

"Niwa… Hiwatari," he nods to us separately. "We want to ask you a few questions."

"About what?" the redhead wonders. Innocent as always.

I cross my arms. "About our whereabouts last night. They want to know why we were involved with Dark and Kr… the white-winged man."

"Oh," Daisuke murmurs. He sighs and sits down in the chair our assistant principal motions to.

I don't sit in the other chair to join him. I'm still a bit shaken by the scene on the bench, and I'd much rather stand for this sort of topic. I walk to behind Daisuke's chair and lean down to say in his ear: "I'll do all the talking. Don't answer unless necessary."

I can hear him gulp nervously. I bet he thinks they suspect him to be Dark. But I know better; Saehara isn't that smart. And the assistant principal is utterly oblivious. She's the one sitting in the chair behind her desk, facing Daisuke, but the real interrogation is between the parked chief and myself.

His hands are behind his back, his feet shoulder-width apart, his eyes watching mine. I fix my glasses by sliding them up the bride of my nose and let my arms resume their place across my chest. "So, what're your thoughts, officer?"

"Don't play coy, Hiwatari! We saw you handing that artwork to Niwa's mother –"

"As a gift," I say calmly. "After all, it's in my heritance; technically, I can do what I want with that piece."

"What? But it's owned by the Hikari's –"

"Which is the family I'm descended from. Or have you forgotten that my father isn't actually my father?" I remind him.

He stares dumbfounded at me for a long minute. Then, "Well, that still doesn't explain what happened! Why was _this boy here_," he rudely points to Niwa with a meaty finger, "Found unconscious? And there were black feathers scattered all around the area, likely from Dark himself!"

"There were also white feathers," I mention. "From an unknown man similar to Dark, only he doesn't steal."

"Yeah! Explain all that!" the policeman shouts.

I smirk lightly. "I can't. I don't know who the white-feathered perpetrator is," I bluff. Daisuke knows the truth and sees through my bluff like a newly cleaned glass window, but Saehara is fooled.

"Then…" He scratches the side of his head, puzzled. "Why were you two even there? Can't you explain that?"

"I was trailing Dark," I say. It's a white lie, but not much of one. "And Niwa was helping me."

The redhead nods fiercely, his hair bounding. "I was! He…" He pauses to think of an excuse. "Called me on his cell phone. So I came to help him out, because I know Dark's way of thinking, and –"

"You know his manner of thinking? How so?" Saehara grins. I'm sure he thinks he's on to something.

_Dammit, Daisuke, I told you not to speak unless necessary,_ I sigh mentally. Outwardly I rub one of my temples as he keeps talking.

"Er, well… he's a friend of mine… my cousin, actually," he adds, using the lie he told his friends. _Great, the last person we wanted to know the fib is being told directly. Fantastic… _I roll my eyes. Niwa keeps rambling. "I've known him a long time, and it's easy fro me to track what he's about to do. So when Hikari-kun called, I agreed to help because I don't approve of my cousin stealing all the time."

The last part seemed a bit too true. Did Daisuke truly dislike all the theft? It's believable; he may have been raised to do it, but he probably doesn't like doing it. He has a good heart.

But I bet this little speech is ruining Dark. I almost want to laugh; I can just picture his cocky demeanor fading as he gets pissed and fires off all sorts of vile things from his mouth. Yes, I wager he's pretty angry with my red-haired friend at the moment. I wish I could help, but he brought it upon himself.

"Hmm, I see…" Saehara murmurs into his hand. He straightens his pose and crosses him arms. "I think we should let you kids go back to class. Thanks for chatting with your lovely assistant principal and myself," he says to dismiss us.

I grab Niwa's bicep and haul him to his feet. "Yes, we better be getting back to class. Have a nice day," I state dully as I pull the redhead to the door. I give a half bow on my way out and Niwa follows my example.

Then we're alone in the hallway.

I turn a corner and stop him, releasing my grip. The only classrooms near us are quiet music rooms and art rooms with no one inside. "You should be more careful, baka!" I hiss lowly to him. "Now everyone will think all kinds of things because of that 'white lie' you told to your friends and Saehara's father!"

"I… I'm sorry…" Niwa whispers. He breaks our eye contact and glances at the nearest door handle. He fiddles with it, his hands sliding across the wood and onto the metal, his fingertips dancing small circles on the surface. He's nervous. "But it worked, didn't it?"

I exhale through my nose loudly and face the other way. It's hard to keep up this façade. The façade that I play day in and day out, and only broke when I was ill. It's the façade that I'm reluctant to be with Niwa and that I am easily angered with his mistakes in our historical bloodline situation.

…The façade that I'm not in love with him.

_'But when are you going to stop lying to him, eh, Satoshi?'_

_[/end ch.4]_


	5. Five: Another Fainting Spell

**A/N: The fluff, it BUUUURNS! :'D **

**...Good thing I have some angsty actiony stuff planned for the future. But for now, enjoy your fluff. It's aweet, cotton-candy-like goodness!**

* * *

_[Ch.5; start]_

"I suppose it worked," I agree dimly. I face the redhead once more, trying to ignore the last thing Krad said to me. "But you have to be more careful. I can't always be there for you." I hesitate. "At least… not in the way that you're there for me."

He cocks his head slightly. "Eh?"

I look directly into his eyes. "Last night you saved me. Dark was going to choke me to death, but you saved me… again."

Niwa smiles vaguely. "I would never forgive Dark or myself if anything ever happened to you," he says.

I keep my shock my reaching my face upon hearing that.

He continues, "Or Krad, for that matter. Did he hurt you when he used all that magic? You must be just as tired as I am today, if not more!"

There he goes again, caring for me when I'm technically the one who started that fight. Well, Krad was, but he was using my body to do it. I look away. "I got a bloody nose from the strain, but that's all. A little blood loss never hurt anybody… only makes them a bit dizzy."

He scowls and bares his teeth, ultimately startling me. "Why does he do that?! That can't be safe!"

"Nothing is ever safe when it comes to me," I remind him in a dark tone. I begin walking across the tiled floor. "We really should be getting to class, you know. I'm sure your sensei is wondering where you are."

He sighs and goes along with my subject change. "What about yours?"

I shrug. "She knows I take long breaks. She doesn't mind."

"Oh, right… because you've graduated already," Niwa grumbles. I smile slightly at his jealous tone.

But as we depart, I get a strong, eerie sense of foreboding. It's telling me that the shit is about to hit the fan (pardon the phrase, it's a favorite of my so-called father's). I don't doubt this feeling, either, considering the lie Niwa told, which is most likely going to spread around the entire country of Japan within the next week thanks to the two Saeharas and miscellaneous news reporters. Oh, the turmoil that event will bring to us both.

I shake my head at the two of us as I enter my classroom. We truly are doomed to failure, aren't we? Me because of my short life span, and Daisuke because of his foolish actions.

'_I agree with that statement,' _Krad chortles cruelly. _'You're pretty much screwed, both of you. As for Dark and I? Well, we'll probably jump from one body to the next for all eternity, so we have nothing to worry about. It's a never-ending battle, ours.'_

_I wish it _would_ end, _I think in riposte as I sit at my desk. The teacher glances my way for a brief moment to acknowledge that she knows I've returned. _It'd make life a hell of a lot easier for everyone. The police, Niwa's parents, Niwa himself, and me. Why can't you just disappear?! You and Dark both! I want a normal teenaged life… is that too much to ask for? Is it too much to ask for less responsibility, stress, and pain?_

Krad takes all this into account for a minute. _'Sorry, Satoshi, but I don't have the answers. All I know is: I'm not leaving any time soon, so you better suck it up and deal with it. In fact, I'd say I'm going to try as hard as possible not to let go of you, because I really like this body.'_

I shudder visibly at his remark. _You're disgusting, _I grunt mentally.

'_Love you, too,' _he says sarcastically. I feel Krad's presence fade somewhat. _'Wake me when it's time to fight,' _the blonde says sleepily.

He's so useless; Krad's always waiting for the fight and not once offering any assistance. Tch, I hate him so much. With a rub of my temples I try to think less of my life and focus on the woman up at the chalkboard. The teacher rambles about something or another, and slowly the arms of the clock crawl towards the end of the day. I'm more than grateful when the bell rings.

The sunlight is too bright for my taste as I exit the school building. I shield my eyes and pace onward, my mind distantly reminding me of the chores that need to be done at home. Out of my peripheral vision I see Daisuke chatting with Riku. Normally I would go over to him and demand we walk home together, since I've done so the last time a big issue arose. But seeing him with her, smiling, blushing… I don't want to interrupt. I'll walk home alone like I always do; it's no big deal. Besides, outside of my chores, I have a few things to plan for: like, for example, how I'm going to deal with the media about Krad, or how I can help Daisuke with his lie. I told him I can't always be there for him, but I'm going to try. Trying is better than nothing…

I sway on my feet as a surge of too much – or too little? – blood rushes to – or from? – my head. Oh, no… I think I pushed myself too far this time. I was stupid to come to school today.

I fall to my knees, my glasses falling to the ground in a clatter. I hear the crack of the lenses and the faint sound of someone calling my name. My senses grow dull and a black ocean rises to meet me.

Then, like a food given to a homeless man, I'm gone.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

I stir awake and groan as my head swims in a terribly lightheaded way. I roll over onto my side and pull the covers righter around myself. Uhg, I don't want to wake up; it's so warm and soft and peaceful where I am…

Wait.

Panic speeds up my heart rate as I remember fainting on the school grounds. If I fainted, then how did I wind up in my bed?

Unless…

Unless this isn't my bed, and history repeated itself.

I sit up in a hurry and look around. I immediately regret this action as I get a painful throb in my head. Holding on to my too-warm scalp with my fingers threaded through my hair, I slowly incline my head to the right of me. And, like last time, I see a ruby-haired figure at a desk staring at me over his shoulder.

Niwa smiles weakly. "Glad to see you up, Hikari-kun. Are you feeling all right now?" As I glare at him and demand answers with my eyes, he laughs. "Heh, yeah, I bet you're wondering why you're here again. Um, see… Harada-san saw you faint, and then Riku-san helped me carry you here because we couldn't find the nurse again, and… yeah," he ends lamely. He stands and sits on the edge of the bed. "Don't worry about my mom, by the way. She's out dealing with my lie. Can you believe it already spread around town? It's crazy! But it can't be helped, I guess. It was my fault."

I can't seem to find my voice. I'm left blinking at Daisuke, wondering why he keeps doing this to me. The repetitive shenanigans are getting old fast. Which reminds me: why do I keep feeling weaker and weaker? Why do I keep fainting? It's not because…

Daisuke must be on the same thought track, because next he says: "Ne, Hikari-kun, don't you think it's a bit strange that you're getting sick all the time? You don't think it's because…"

And, like me, he seems not to want to finish the last thought. I gulp and nod, deciding to fill in the blank for both of us. "Yes, I think it's because of my curse. My life is coming to an end a bit sooner than usual."

His eyes water as if he's going to cry, but as soon as Niwa blinks, the watery appearance vanishes. "I was afraid of that," he whispers. He abruptly stands and begins pacing the room. I lean back, nearly hitting his alarm clock, and watch him. Niwa's thoughts come pouring out in one long stream: "I wish there was a way to lengthen your life. I think, if I dig up enough books and poke around where ojii-san keeps all the magic stuff, I might be able to find an answer. Maybe I could get my dad to help! He doesn't mind you like my mom does, and he's helped you before by giving you that ring, right? So maybe… with two minds working together… we could –"

"Niwa… _stop_," I say with a sigh. I grunt as I compel my body to get out of the bed. "I doubt what you're aiming to do is possible, and I don't care either way. I'll be fine."

"But –!"

I raise my hand to silence him. He pouts, although he doesn't utter another word on the topic, for which I'm glad. "Now, I better leave before your parents comes home –"

"Whoa, hold on a second," Niwa says. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. This is the second time you've done this, and it could happen again! So you're going to spend the night, no questions asked. My mother will have to deal with it, because I have to make sure that you're actually 'fine'." He flushes a little "I get pretty worried about you sometimes, Hikari-kun."

I stare unblinkingly at him for a moment, not sure how to respond to that.

"Here," the redhead says in a softer tone. He picks up a pair of pajamas like he had the first time I was here. "You can sleep in these. You've been asleep for a while now… it's half passed seven. Oh! That reminds me: are you hungry? I can throw together some onigiri if you want."

With food brought into mind, I realize that I am hungry. My stomach is achingly empty. "Sure, that sounds good," I mutter as I sit on the edge of the bed. Maybe it is best that I stay with him tonight… I don't feel so well, and being alone at my house when I'm like this could lead to something dangerous. 'Better safe than sorry', I suppose you could say. Although Krad seems to be amused by my agreement to staying, because right now he's snickering and murmuring something about 'those in love fall to their temptations'. Tch, he's so cruel in his teasing. I wish he'd shut the hell up.

"I'll be right back," Niwa says with a smile. "Stay here in case my parents come home while I'm in the kitchen."

"Don't need to tell me twice; I don't want to have to face your mother," I accidentally say aloud. Daisuke laughs warmly, and I find myself softening at the sound.

"Neither do I," he chuckles as he slips out into the hallway, "Not after what I pulled today at school."

And then he left, the bedroom door shutting behind him. I sit in the silence of the room and contemplate what my consequences could be for choosing to take Daisuke up on his offer.

'_For starters, you could end up accidentally blabbing the secret of your little crush on him,' _Krad snorts. _'Or, who knows, maybe something cliché will happen: you guys will get into a childish pillow fight – which I wouldn't put past the kid – and you end up falling on top of each other. _That_ would prove to be amusing…'_

_Dammit, Krad, can't you keep quiet? Neither of those will happen, because I won't let it._ I snap ferociously at the blonde.

'_Alright, I will say nothing more.' _His tone indicates a shrug. '_But mark my words, Satoshi, nothing good will come of tonight. Especially not if Dark decides to show his face.'_

I shake my head and sink into the mattress as I let out a long sigh. Nothing good probably will occur, but I can handle it. Deep down, I don't mind this time with Niwa; it's a comfort, and a pick-me-up. I always get a bit cheerier when I'm with him, and the circumstances this time are no exception.

Daisuke reenters the room a handful of minutes later with a plate in his hands. It has five neatly made rice balls with a small dish of soy sauce adorning it. And they appear to be different flavors.

"I threw a few together out of leftovers I found in our fridge. I hope they taste good," he says meekly. He sets them before me and sits on the bed. "Did you want anything to drink?"

I shake my head and pick one up. It looks like it has leeks in it. Leeks are onion-like and delicious, and I wonder vaguely if Daisuke knew that I liked them. "Itadakimasu," I murmur to myself. I take a bite and the sticky white rice fills my mouth. I mush it around a bit, absorbing the taste. "These are wonderful, Niwa," I compliment him.

He flushes again and glances away. "Nah, my mom can make them a lot better. But I watched her cook sometimes and picked up a few things, I guess."

I finish off the first one quickly, my ravenousness surprising me. I take another, and find a pickled plum in it. I eat that one, too, and reach for a third. I catch myself before I bring it to my lips. "Did you eat yet?" I ask.

He shrugs. "No, but I'm not hungry."

I frown. "Don't make me worry about your health as well, Niwa," I warn. "Take one."

He looks down at the plate and timidly grabs one of the onigiri. It's the only plain one. He dunks it in the soy sauce and nibbles at it. A grain of rice sticks to his nose from the tip of the triangular snack.

I stifle a chuckle and point to his nose. "You got rice on your nose," I inform him with a small grin.

The redhead blinks and goes cross-eyed to try to see the grain. He spots it and brushes it off with his thumb. His gaze returns to me. "Thanks," he smiles.

I take a bite of my third ball and don't say anything. We finish eating and soon the clock is striking eight. Noise filters in from the doorway.

"My parents are home," Daisuke sighs wearily. He lifts the plate off the bed and heads fro the door. "I'll take of everything. You sit up here so my mom doesn't freak out, okay?"

"Mhm," I nod. He leaves once again, and I'm left to myself. I don't like that; I get enough of that at home. I stand and sneak to the door, opening it up. Yeah, so I lied to him a second ago, but I'm a bit addicted to being around him now that I'm used to it. Plus, I want to hear what's happening down there.

Their voices carry up the stairs and into the hallway where I stand. I clutch the blanket I dragged with my around my shoulders to keep warm. I hear Daisuke speaking first.

"Oi, otou-san, ocaa-san. Welcome home."

"Dai-chan!" his mother says with her tone raised painfully high. I can't tell if she's happy to see him or completely angry with him. I find out in the next couple seconds. "I can't believe you told such a lie! Couldn't you have been more creative? Or not said anything at all?! Now we have people like the Saehara's banging on the doors of any of our relatives, asking if their son is Dark!"

"Now, honey, I'm sure Daisuke didn't mean anything by it…" his father tries. "It probably sprung to mind and seemed adequate at the time. Don't go blaming him; something like this was bound to happen."

As per usual, the next thing Niwa Emiko-san says is softened and sighing thanks to her understanding, good-natured husband. "I suppose you're right. But it's one hell of a mess, I tell you what!"

I hear Niwa's father chuckling. "It's nothing we can't handle. Now then… Daisuke? Did you eat dinner?"

"Mhm," my friend replies. "A little while ago."

"Good. Your mother and I have yet to, so we'll be in the kitchen if you need us."

"Anou, otou-san? There's something I need to tell you…"

Uh-oh. What's Daisuke doing? Is he going to tell his father that I'm here?

I hear footsteps approach the stairway and voices much louder than before coming to my ears.

"Er, don't tell Mom, but I have a guest in my room…"

"It's not a girl, is it?"

I can picture the blush on Daisuke's face. "No! No… I-it's Hikari-kun. He… well, he fainted again, and it's troubling me. He was sick not too long ago, too. I'm afraid for his health, so I want to keep an eye on him."

"Ah, I see…" his father hums thoughtfully. I almost hadn't heard him. "I see nothing wrong with that. Keep him out of sight and everything should be peachy-keen." I can imagine a wink being made here and a smile on Daisuke's face.

"Thanks."

"No biggie. Although, you should probably check on your guest… I get the notion that he's eavesdropping as we speak."

Startled panic freezes my chest. I scurry to Niwa's room and pretend that he hadn't caught me. Technically he could've been guessing, but I doubt it; Kosuke-san is a sharp man.

I faintly catch the redhead's footfalls as he races up the stairs. I fall onto his bed and curl up on my side, as if I had been dozing this entire time. I can own up to a lot of things, but I'd rather not be seen as the spy that I am. Or, at least, seen as a spy but not caught in the act. So I slow my breathing as much as possible and close my eyes.

"Hikari-kun…?" Niwa ventures as he comes into the room. When he spots me, he murmurs an 'oh'. "Sorry if I woke you…"

"You didn't wake me," I reply as I shift my position to face him. "I was simply bored while waiting for you. How'd it go with your parents?" As if I don't already know. Yet I have to ask so he won't believe what his father said about my eavesdropping.

"My mom doesn't know you're here, so you can't leave the room, heh heh. But if you go to the bathroom, you can, only you'll have to be very careful." He tells me. He goes back to his desk and picks up a brush and some paints that I hadn't noticed were piled on the desktop.

"Are you going to paint?" I question as I release the blanket I still had around my shoulders and sit up in his bed.

Daisuke looks over and grins broadly. "Yup. And I was hoping you'd be my model."

I blink a few times. "Pardon?"

He laughs. "Come see for yourself."

I walk over to the canvas in the corner and pull up the curtain on it. He's had many works in progress in the past, and a couple I've seen. But this one…

…This was a drawing (and a well-done one, might I add) of himself, Riku, Risa, and Dark. Then there's a blank space next to dawn-Daisuke's extended arm.

A blank space where's I'm meant to be.

"I wanted to draw all the people important to me," he says a bit embarrassedly. "Er, that is, all my friends; I was going to draw my parents and grandpa as well, but I decided I solely wanted my friends. But I had no pictures of you to go from, so I was hoping the next chance I got I could… Well, you're here now, so may I paint you?"

I wanted to hug him. If I was somewhat like Daisuke in personality, I probably would. Being who I am, I resisted the urge, and simply smiles gently at him. "Of 'course," I answer.

Perhaps that wasn't the best answer to give…

_[/end ch.5]_


	6. Six: Potentially Dangerous Paint

**A/N: Sorry for the shortness, you guys. I can swear on my shounen-ai-loving life that my next update will be muchMUCHmuch longer. :3**

***whistles to 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' from the Potter Puppet Pals***

* * *

_[Ch.6; start]_

"Okay, Hikari-kun, if you could stand riiiiight… here," Niwa starts by dragging me off to the side and a bit away from the canvas. I end up in the corner of his room. "And then turn this way a little bit…" He grips my shoulders and rotates my body slightly. "And put your arm here, with your other hand adjusting your glasses…" The redhead brings my hand up and presses my index finger to the bridge of my glasses. "There." He smiles at me. "Oh, and don't worry, I'll draw your face and arm first so you don't have to keep your hand up the whole time."

Has anyone ever tried to hold back heat behind their cheeks as much as I am right now? I feel utterly pathetic all of a sudden, for multiple reasons. One, because I'm getting those lovey-dovey feelings while he's this close, touching me; two, because I'm Daisuke's drawing dummy; and three, because I think Krad is correct: nothing good is going to come of tonight. I can see something happening later on, although I have no idea what.

It'll probably be a mess.

I stand for Kami knows how long, my arm leaning against the wall and my hand plastered to my face. I feel my legs wobble on my heels from lack of muscle use. How did people ever pose back in the day prior to cameras? I'm not an impatient person, but I'm getting a little jittery like I need to run a marathon and not sit still. I'd surely pass out again if I ran, but my point is made.

"You can relax your right arm," Daisuke informs me after a while. I let my hand fall with a slap to my side. The muscle opposite my elbow is aching from stain of the same position for too long. It happens to chatty girls when they spend too long talking to a friend with the phone on the same ear.

"How much longer?" I sigh when thirty minutes pass.

"Actually, only a minute. I have to finish drawing your foot… There, I'm done! Want to see?" the redhead offers, half-turning the canvas towards me.

I walk over and study how he portrayed me. I must say, it somehow captures my essence and looks rather realistic. "Impressive," I beam in his direction.

Niwa flushes. "You really think so?"

I nod. "It's a drawing of how you see me, and I like what you see."

He seems to flush deeper and to distract me from this fact he looks away and grabs his paints. He squirts a few colors onto an easel and mixes white with dark blue for what I'm guessing is going to be used for my eye color.

It's fascinating watching him paint. I never knew Daisuke could be so precise or serious. Watching his face, you see all kinds of emotions flicker across and disappear like a dancing candle flame. And in between the emotions there's this deadpan expression that's calm and inviting, like when someone is asleep. I lean against his bed and watch him fill the page with color and add a background. I frown slightly. "Doesn't the background normally come first?"

Daisuke glances over his shoulder and smiles faintly. "Yeah, it usually does, but I wanted everyone to look right and in order to do that the sketches need to be on blank white. It's weird, but I have to do it that way for a painting like this."

I nod slowly, pretending I get what he means. But let's face it: I'm no painter. Not like him, anyhow. I can mimic simple things like I had with the Freedert situation, but other than that I'm not much of an artist. It's like we switched family talents this generation: the Niwas got the artist and the Hikaris got… me. Whatever the hell I am.

'_Oh, don't be so modest, Satoshi. You're just like every other Hikari: full of stalker-like qualities, bitterly mixed emotions, and the capability to carry out your destiny. You will live, defend, take down Dark, and then die. It's simple.' _Krad says smugly.

"Why do you keep saying things like that?" I burst forth.

Niwa whirls around and stares at me. "Huh? What did I say?" He pauses to tilt his head at me in concern. "Hikari-kun, are you alright…?"

I shake my head and bury it in my lap, my hands tangled in my hair. "Forget it, it's not you. I'm sorry I did that."

Suddenly there's warmth around my wrist, pulling to remove it from my hair. I automatically look up at the redhead's face. There's a smudge of red paint almost identical to the shade of his hair on his cheek, and my wrist is already being littered with miscellaneous colors from his fingertips. "It's him, isn't it? Krad. He said something that upset you."

I tear my wrist away. "It doesn't matter, Niwa. Go back to painting."

He gives me a look that I know means he won't forget this and doesn't want to drop the subject, but I'm glad that he obeys after some hesitancy and returns to his task. He needs to stop worrying about me; it's not like he can solve my problems. I don't even know how to solve my problems. I suppose they aren't things that can be helped…

"Oi, Hikari-kun," Daisuke says with a tone I don't recognize. It's sounds sneaky and playful like what Dark might use on a girl. I look up to find him smirking at me, a tube of paint in his hands. "Cheer up!"

A stream of purple the shade of Dark's hair shoots out of the tube. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel it land, cool and wet, on my nose. I reach up and wipe the paint onto my hand, most likely leaving a long smear of purple all over my face. "What the hell, Niwa?"

He's giggling. "You… you got something… on your face, haha!" he says between giggles.

I lend a lopsided grin and lift my paint-covered hand. "Oh yeah?" I say casually. I step over to him slowly, and he inches away.

"What are you going to do?" the redhead asks, still giggling.

"What do you think I'm going to do?" I smirk. I pounce on him and run trails of purple down his arm as I miss when he turns away, but am able to tap his nose afterward. I laugh, a sound that is foreign to me, and watch him squirm away, a blush on his face, as he falls to the floor and laughs.

"I never thought you could be so fun, Hikari-kun," he teases.

"Neither did I," I reply, a bit shocked with myself. What is it about him that makes me feel so much lighter? It's crazy. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be this happy… yet I am.

I lean over to a cloth that had fallen during our little tussle. I pick it up and start wiping the paint off myself. Daisuke's settling down his laughter now, and is simply staring at me. I look at him out of the corner of my eye. He seems to be asking something of me, but I'm not sure what it is. I offer him the cloth. The redhead sits up and takes it from me, but licks the tip. "You missed a spot," he says.

I know what he's about to do... and I don't want him to do it. So I grab the cloth before he can touch it to my face, but I'm so quick in my movements and his grip has the cloth tied too tightly around his finger, so we fall to the ground in a tangled mass of two bodies.

Once again I'm in the predicament where I'm somewhat lying on top of Niwa, and I'm very uncomfortable with it.

And what can make this moment worse than his mother walking in?

"Dai-chan, I thought I heard you crying or laughing, so I came to check…"

Emiko-san freezes in place. I watch her face slowly turn a furious red. I can almost imagine the steam shooting out her ears in a whistle like old cartoons. She storms up to us and I quickly leap onto my feet, hoping that Niwa's mother doesn't get the wrong idea.

"What are you doing with my son?!" she barks. I think any respectable thoughts she had of me vanished when she entered the room at the worst possible moment.

"Nothing, ocaa-san!" Daisuke pipes up. "We were just messing around with my paints, but we slipped and fell…" His face matches his hair. My own would be the same if I allowed it.

"What is he even doing in our home, Daisuke?" Emiko demands. Her hands are placed on her hips in the manner that tells me she could blow up again at any moment. I can assume that I'll be kicked out of the house in a few minutes.

Niwa frowns and looks up at his mother thoughtfully. I'd be surprised if he decides to start standing up to her, perhaps saying something along the lines of, 'I don't have to explain myself to you; ask Dad if you want to know why!'

"Hikari-kun is dying," he says slowly, sadly, suddenly. I whip my head in his direction, more surprised that he chose to say this and not something sassy like I thought. Then again, the above statement sounds more like Dark than Daisuke. This statement, as depressing as it is, sounds more like the redhead I know. "And it's scaring me. So when he fainted again today, I couldn't leave him to himself at home. I want him within assistance range."

Her face calms… for the most part. Her eyes are still scrutinizing me, but her brows are relaxed on her face and her arms are limp at her sides. "Daisuke, honey… I can understand that, but I won't say I'm okay with it." She exhales slowly. "He can stay, if only for tonight. I'm not happy that you tried to hide something from me, but I can't argue with you. Just… no more monkey business, are we clear?"

"Hai, ocaa-san." The redhead agrees.

"Crystal clear," I murmur under my breath.

She nods once and exits the room. The second she's gone, Daisuke turns to me. "We should probably call it a night. It's getting late."

I wordlessly comply by getting into the pajamas Niwa handed me earlier on. The redhead is packing up his paints and draping a cover sheet over his unfinished piece.

Out of nowhere, there's a tap at the door. Kosuke pops his head in and smiles softly at us. "Mind if I come in for a second, boys?"

Daisuke and I shake our heads. Better him than his wife.

The dark-haired man comes and sits in Daisuke's desk chair. He looks between us once Daisuke's seated on the bed near me, about an arm's length away. "So, Emiko caught you."

We both sigh. "Yeah," the boy beside me admits. "And not at a good time, either."

His father chuckles. "I'd expect not; you two should really wipe that paint off, it's quite telling."

The redhead laughs embarrassedly and rubs the back of his head in response. I merely shrug.

The man across from us goes serious. "But I'm not here to tease you, I'm here to tell you something. After talking to you, Daisuke, about Hikari over here, I decided to peck around the library in the basement for some research. You were right when you told Emiko that he was dying; I found that out tonight. It's tragic, really… but I think I found something that might intrigue you." He smiles half-heartedly and brings forth a piece of paper torn from an old, yellow-paged textbook.

The redhead takes it into his hands and holds it up between us so I can read over his shoulder. "This is…" Niwa breathes in awe. I can't even say anything myself.

"That's right," Kosuke grins. "It's something the Hikaris and Niwas forgot about. A loophole, if you will. And I think it might help."

"Why would you want to help?" I ask dubiously. Not that I don't trust Niwa's father, but…

"I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because you're a friend of my son's. Maybe it's because I empathize with your situation. Or maybe it's because I want to be of use in this family. Whatever the reason, I hope you appreciate what I do." Kosuke confesses.

"Oh, we do! Thank you so much, otou-san!" Daisuke says in a happy tone. He jumps up and hugs his father.

I still couldn't say anything. Loopholes aren't always reliable, but it's better than nothing. It's one of those things that give you hope. Perhaps, with the state of mind that I'm in, I need that hope more than anything.

"Here, you boys think about what I found and I'll see you in the morning. G'night," Kosuke says. Then he's out the door and down the hall.

I look to the redhead. "Should we risk it?"

"I think it's worth a shot."

I can't help but trust him when he has an expression like that on his face. I hate that Niwa's my weak link. It disgusting what I'm willing to do, all because he says to do it. I don't even fear his mother's wrath as much as I should because of him… although tonight was a close call; it could have been _so much worse_.

"We'll go over the details in the morning, then," Daisuke yawns. He tosses down an extra futon he grabs from his closet and reaches for an extra pillow on the bed. He's about to get another blanket and lay down when I stop him.

"I'm the guest. I should sleep on the floor," I mutter.

He smiles. "Yeah, but you're also sick. Let me sleep on the floor."

Part of me – the hormonal teenaged part I usually snuff out like a burning ember – is stirred. That part of me wants to suggest that we share the bed. But I know what issues that can cause, so I'm not going to even dare. Besides, it would be a bit out of my known character, and I can just see Krad making some remark or another. Oh, and Dark would probably never allow it… Damn the hormonal part of me.

"No, I'm not going to kick you out of your bed, Niwa." I get down on the ground and take the blanket gently from his hands. I curl up on the futon, my back to him.

"Oh… um… alright…" he murmurs unsurely. Niwa crawls under the covers of his bed and mumbles a 'good night' to me.

Soon I can hear his even breathing and peaceful hums during his dreams. For some reason, I can't sleep. I sit up, blinking into the darkness. Today has been… different. And I don't know what category of 'different' it falls under, either. One thing is for sure: something is changing between Niwa and I. Somehow, I'm at ease with this fact.

_[/end ch.6]_


	7. Seven: Sealing Ceremony

_[Ch.7; start]_

Sunlight streams in through my eyelids, turning my vision orangey-red. I slowly crack my lids open to find Daisuke still snoozing in his bed, cozy and warm. I yawn silently and stretch out my limbs, which poke out at the bottom and sides of the blanket I'm using. I also notice that it's terribly misshapen since last night. I don't recall moving around much in my sleep, nor having any nightmarish dreams, but what can I be sure of any longer? Especially as a flood of memories from last night comes storming into my conscious mind in this instant.

Paint, a mother's wrath, loopholes…

Loopholes!

"Niwa," I mutter as I reach up to shake the redhead awake. Before I touch him, I blink a few times. His face… it reminds me of when Dark was overtaking his body when he was lost, and he fell unconscious at school. When I laid him down in the nurse's office, his face looked so mature and vulnerable at the same time, like it does now. My gaze softens and I stand up, deciding to allow him a few more hours of sleep.

'_Oh, you're so considerate of the boy. What next? Are you going to stroke his cheek, tuck him in, and kiss his nose while wishing him sweet dreams?' _Krad growls sarcastically, his tone thick with jealousy.

_Do you ever learn to shut your mouth? _I snap back at him coldly.

'_Hey, if you don't want to admit your feelings to him, that's your problem. I simply wish you'd stop fussing over him and pay attention to me every once and a while… you're always putting me last, out of your mind, or ignoring me. Satoshi… you know that I care only for you, and –'_

_I've said it once and I'll say it again: you don't give a shit about me, Krad. You lie every time you say you "love and care about" me. All you care about is having a body to exist in. And now that you know the loophole, you're secretly panicking and praying it doesn't work. You sicken me, _I mentally tell him in a stoic tone. The white-winged one doesn't say another word; I must've hit the nail on the head with that remark.

I go to the bathroom, carrying out my usual routine; even in a foreign home, with some else's pajamas on. When I return to Niwa's bedroom, he's sitting up on his bed; his eyes squinted as they try to adjust to the light of the morning. "Hikari-kun?" he calls to me.

I swallow shallowly and come to sit on his bed. "Good morning, Niwa," I murmur.

He smiles tiredly at me as he yawns. "How long have you been up?"

I shrug. "A few minutes."

He cracks his neck and tosses off the covers. "Did you think about what my dad showed us?" he wants to know.

I look away from the redhead and turn my gaze on the pattern of the fabric on my thigh instead. "I haven't really decided on anything definite yet," I admit slowly. "What do you think of it?"

Daisuke looks at me with an expression I don't understand. "I had a dream about it, actually," he says slowly, "And Freedert was in it, along with the Second Hand of Time."

My interest is sparked at the mention of those two girls. "What happened in your dream?" I ask.

His gaze turns sharp, all shreds of sleep completely gone. "I remember what she told me. She said, 'To protect the ones you love, don't choose death; choose life.' I'm paraphrasing a bit, but you get the idea. In my dream she said this to you, and gestured to me to join you two. She told me, 'Risking the unknown is dangerous; so you must be there to protect him.'" He paused, a sort of curiosity spreading across his face. "What do you think she meant?"

I shake my head. "I'm not sure, Daisuke. What I do know is this: I'm willing to try anything if it means finding some answers. So perhaps we should test this little loophole your father found," I say honestly.

Niwa nods as he scratches his head. "I guess so." He looks to the door for a moment. "I'll be right back."

I don't bother to wait long enough for him to come back. I change out of his clothes and into mine from yesterday. I'm halfway down the stairs when he comes running out from the hallway and stands on the top step behind me.

"Hikari-kun! Wait! Where are you going?"

I turn and stare at him. "I dislike being a burden to my enemies, it feels uncomfortable. Besides, I doubt your father is going to help us today –"

"Oh, but I am. I was planning on doing it as soon as possible," Kosuke says lightly from the kitchen. He appears at the base of the stairs in front of me. Great, now I'm pinned on the middle step between father and son. "That is, if you're up for it."

"Of 'course we are!" Daisuke replies with determination. "Right, Hikari-kun?"

I send him a deadpan expression that reads, 'what do you take me for?'

"Good!" his father says, "Then it's settled. Meet me down in the basement after lunch."

_What have we gotten ourselves into?_ I wonder.

'_Big-ass trouble, that's what,' _Krad grumbles.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

The loophole Kosuke found was simple: it's said that, as punishment in a 'price to pay' sort of deal, the Niwa's were cursed to carry Dark throughout their generations. That is, until a love returns the love the tamer holds, and the love loves both the tamer and Dark. Sounds confusing, I know, so let me rephrase with names: If Daisuke loves Riku and Riku loves both Daisuke _and _Dark (which is highly unlikely at this point, but we're pretending), then Dark will disappear; in a matter of speaking.

But Krad does not have this issue. In fact, Krad was never mentioned to be able to leave forever like Dark, nor is forced to stay within a Hikari's body for every generation. It's barely even _implied_. As far as we know, Krad is inside the Hikari bloodline because he chooses to be. Because he chooses to constantly protect the Hikari art.

Personally, I think he just wants a body to control.

Kosuke's theory is this: we use an ancient seal in the shape of a black choker necklace, similar to the ring he gave me in the past, to stifle Krad's magic. Then we use a removing spell that supposedly gets rid of unwanted spirits. Assuming that Krad is a type of angel, demon, or spirit of any kind, it should work.

'Assuming'. 'In theory'. 'Hypothetically…'

Kosuke keeps using these words, and it's really starting to irk me. Why can't he flat out say, 'I doubt this is going to work'? Oh, right: because, like his son, he's not too blunt. Not like some people around here that I know.

"Here, stand still while I put this necklace on you," Kosuke mutters.

I lift my chin and close my eyes, his fingers gliding across the skin of my throat with some kind of black goo running over my skin. The texture reminds me of henna dye, minus the earthy scent henna gives off.

"Daisuke, come here and make the pair of wings at the nape of his neck," his father commands. "I need Dark's magic – the magic of the opposing – to complete this. Black balances out the white, you see?"

"Of 'course," the redhead replies, as if that last statement was common knowledge.

I swallow audibly as Daisuke comes to stand behind me, his face so close that I can feel his breath pouring over the top of my back where my neck is exposed by my loosely fitting shirt. I struggle in vain to hold back the heat rising to my face and burning my ears. I hope his father doesn't notice.

Cool, gentle fingers swirled feathery designs at the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Raging hormones say: lean in to the touch, and imagine where else those fingers could be. Brain says: stand stiff as a board and wait for it to stop, and don't think about anything in specific. I really don't want to think about what Krad is saying.

In the end, I wait for the moment to pass like my brain suggested. I can't be following my hormones at a time like this; it's incongruous. I prefer not to be incongruous.

"There," the redhead says as he removes his finger. "But how do we seal it, otou-san?"

"Blow on it. It needs to dry."

Blow on it? He wants him to blow on my neck? Does anyone besides me see how awkward this is?!

'_I do, Satoshi. And I gotta say, if it wasn't Dark's vessel we were dealing with, I'd be laughing my ass off at you.' _Krad smirked devilishly.

I swallow hard and focus on a random spot on the wall, attempting to not act conspicuous. Slowly I allow my eyes to wader as if I'm impatient and bored. The sensation of Daisuke's breath on my neck is sending shivers and goosebumps down my spine, and honestly, I prefer it if those damn reactions would cease. So I ignore them, along with the strange tightening feeling I'm starting to get where the black substance is.

"There, I'd say that it's hardened enough," the redhead behind me mutters as he quickly steps away and examines the choker necklace from afar. I think even Daisuke realizes the subtle innuendo in his words. If Saehara Takeshi were here, he'd be giggling insanely. He's not much of a pervert, but he is a teenaged boy who'd fall victim to an accidental joke like that.

"Perfect," Niwa's father nods in approval. "Now then: if you would be so kind as to step into this figure I drew in chalk, we'll be set."

Without a word (since I'm starting to fall into a strange daze over all this), I stroll over to the witchy-looking figure and stand in the center.

'_This won't work, you know; I'm too powerful,' _Krad hisses in what sounds to be directly next to my ear.

_Don't get too cocky, _I mentally growl in return. _You're just afraid that you'll lose your puppet. But I'm sick and tired of you sucking the life out of me. The Hikaris don't live very long because of you and your overuse of magic! I hate it! If I can get you out of my body, I could care less about my predetermined destiny. And I'll be free to be with…_ My thoughts drift off.

'_Free to do what? Be with the red-haired Niwa? I don't think so, Satoshi. Even if you succeed and pry me out of you, you forget that you're still an enemy of their family. And with me gone, Dark will be reduced to half the being he already is, or possibly reduced to nothing. He and I were spawned from the same line of ancient magic, two mirroring halves of the same whole. Do you really think it's as simple as removing one without the other?' _Krad points out with a vile tone in his voice.

I feel my face flush white as I realize that he's right. I attempt to swallow my doubts and warn Daisuke, but the necklace rubbing on my skin is suffocating me. I can't speak.

"Ready, Hikari-san?" Kosuke asks me. I can hardly move, but I find myself nodding nonetheless. "Okay! Let's get rolling, then!"

A wave of heat that pricks me like needles of ice washes over my frame, and the hottest point of all is at my neck where the necklace is; I can picture it glowing a searing red like a metal sword being made by a blacksmith. I choke back a yell of pain that's about to burst from my throat. A grunt takes it's place, and Daisuke looks at me with panic in his eyes.

"Otou-san, something's wrong! It's hurting him!" the redhead cries.

Kosuke looks at my face and appears stricken. "It's alright, Daisuke, it's almost over. He'll be alright; it's not physical pain that he's feeling."

Not physical?! I'm burning up! My flesh is scorching so violently, it's as though it's freezing and falling off like a frostbitten toe! Make it stop, oh please, make it stop, Kami have mercy…!

Daisuke somehow hears my unspoken pleas. He dives for me, his arms wrapping securely around my ribs. I see a beam of light and feel my body crash to the ground with a hard thud. Pressured, but not painful.

Wait a second! The pain is gone, just like that? _Whoosh,_ it simply disappeared like a bad ghost? Amazing... Perhaps it wasn't entirely physical after all.

I lay on my back, panting. The slowly cooling choker necklace is still around my neck. I open my eyes to find ruby reds hovering above me. "Are you okay, Hikari-kun?" Dark's vessel asks. "Is Krad still inside you? I cut off the ceremony, so…"

I search my inner self for the white-winged monster (as the phantom thief calls him), but discover that his presence, his voice… it's all gone. And I'm glad, because it was hard to suppress his presence in the past when I was close to Daisuke and feeling too deeply for him – hell, he showed his face a few times (whether I was in control or not), including when I first spent the night at the Niwa home and left before Daisuke awoke – and right now, being within kissing distance of Daisuke's face, I'm grateful that there's no Krad to speak of.

Why is that, though? Since Daisuke cut off the ceremony, shouldn't…?

"Ah, I see," Kosuke murmurs, his hand thoughtfully stroking his chin as if he had a beard. "Krad was placed into the necklace but not destroyed yet, so he's out of your body but not gone." He sighs and shakes his head. With a hand running through his dark spikes, he says to his son: "I'll be right back. I have to get your grandfather; he'll know what to do about this." He winces slightly as he looks at me. "Although, I doubt he'll approve of my helping you."

He turns and exits the basement, and I'm left with Daisuke… whom is still on top of me. "Niwa, if you'd please get off…" I begin.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry!" he says, practically leaping off. He blushes a little and scratches his cheek. "I almost forgot that I was so close."

While I'm puzzling over how someone can forget that they're right in someone else's face, I sit up and touch the black necklace. It shocks my finger as if it were charged with electricity. "I can't remove it," I state flatly.

"What? You can't?" Daisuke asks. He leans forward on his knees and tried to wrap his fingers around it to take it off. His hand reels back within seconds of his fingertips touching the black-woven, jagged surface. "Ouch!"

"You see why," I remark with a resentful tone.

Holding his shocked hand, the redhead nods. "Yeah." He sits and crosses his legs Indian style. "So what now? You're going to have to wear that thing around until we find out what to do with it?" he thinks aloud.

I shrug. "If that's what we have to do, then I'll do it."

"But won't people at school ask why you're wearing a necklace? You never wear jewelry."

"True, but if they ask, I don't have to answer. I usually keep to myself anyhow, so they shouldn't think anything is different."

"Also true," the redhead chuckles lightly. He leans into me again and studies the necklace. "It's so weird; he's inside that tiny band…"

I can feel his body heat, his breath on my collarbone, and the amazement in his voice. Within myself, I sense my heart trembling. My lips and fingers twitch, itching to lift his chin and kiss him. And why shouldn't I? Krad's not here to interfere, and Daisuke's father is upstairs, trying to talk to the stubborn blood-related Niwas…

"Hikari-kun?" the redhead calls unsurely.

I snap out of my daze to lock gazes with him. I completely missed the small movement of him lifting his head to eye-level. "What?"

Daisuke leans back about a foot and shakes his head. "Never mind." He pauses with a shaky smile growing on his face. "I'm glad things worked out. I was afraid for a minute there that the spell was going to tear you in half." He shivers, as if the idea of losing me terrifies him. Oddly, that comforts me.

"Don't worry, Niwa," I tell him softly, my heart pumping with the thrill of freedom (despite how limited and temporary it is) as I lean forward. "I'm not going anywhere."

Without thinking (which I'm grow more sure is a mistake with every inch that I lean closer to him), I brush my lips against his.

_[/end ch.7]_

* * *

**  
A/N: HOLY SHIT, WHAT DID I JUST DO?!**


	8. Eight: Desparate

**A/N: *announcer-like voice* The shocking, emotonal continuation of 'Can't Be Helped' has now begun! Be ready to laugh, cry, and smile softly at the wonderous eighth chapter of this Satoshi and Daisuke story!**

* * *

_[Ch.8; start]_

I can only relate this feeling to kissing the soft petals of a flower warmed in the sun while the giant ball of gas itself is on my back. It lasts barely a second, because when I go to fully press my lips to the redhead's, he jerks backwards and out of my reach. My mostly-shut eyes open to see him touching his fingers to his mouth. I can see questions whizzing by in Niwa's head through his eyes. Without having to guess, I know what he's asking: 'Why did you do that, Hikari-kun?'

Truthfully? I don't know why. Maybe I was tired of waiting. Maybe I was a tad too overjoyed that I couldn't turn into Krad. Maybe I thought he was secretly asking for it. However you look at it, one fact remains the same: I was going to kiss him, even if every aspect of the moment screamed for me not to.

Out of the blue, Niwa's father stumbles into the room. I can hear Emiko shouting after him, and see her hand pushing him inside. She's swearing lightly, which is an odd thing to hear out of her mouth, and she ranting about how her husband had no right to use their magic for such a thing as assisting the enemy.

"But Emiko-chan," he says in a sweet voice to butter her up, "If I help the boy with this, he won't be an enemy any longer."

She pauses, and although I can't see her face, I know she's blinking in confusion. "Hmm," she says slowly, "You make a valid point, love." She sighs. "Alright, help him. But if it doesn't work out, I'm blaming you and casting him from my house forever, understand?"

"Perfectly," Kosuke nods to show his sincerity in his agreement. "Bye!" And he closes the door and rolls around to lean his back against it. Exhaling as he hears her retreating footsteps, he winks at us. "Don't worry, she doesn't mean that, Hikari-san. Now, where were we?"

Daisuke is as red as his hair when he looks over at his father and forces a smile. "Um… maybe we should continue the spell later. We can't do too much at once," he says. I realize that he's uncomfortable and wants to be away from me. Fine, I get the hint. I'll leave.

"He's right," I say as I get to my feet a bit unsteadily. "I'll be leaving now. Thank you for all your help." I reach for the door and exit without waiting to hear what Kosuke has to say to me. Yes, I'll admit that I'm bitter about my kiss not turning out.

_No matter, _I assure myself as I head for the front door passed a curious Emiko, _As long as Krad's gone from my body, I can rest easy. For now,_ I can't help but add with a mental sigh.

"Dark? What are you doing out?" I hear Emiko say when I'm halfway through the door. I peer over my shoulder and see a tall, purple-haired figure that I'm all too familiar with.

"Don't ask me!" he's retorting in a raised voice, "Ask _Daisuke_!" Under his breath, I catch him saying, "'Cause I don't think I wanna know why he transformed into me…"

Emiko suddenly shoots a puzzled half-glare in my direction, but at this point I don't want to be in the house. So I slip out the door and close it loudly behind me. The afternoon sun greets me with a shining eye, and the trees seem to wave their branches in hello. But I'm in too sour (not to mention perplexed) mood to appreciate it.

Why _did_ Daisuke transform into Dark? One minute I was about to kiss him, the next he was blushing furiously, and then… what? Poof, he's Dark? But **how**? Can embarrassment also be a trigger for a transformation, or is it something else? Daisuke couldn't be developing feelings for… No, no way! I'd love it if he did, but it's not possible! _…Is it?_

My thoughts in a jumble, I walk the entire route back to my lonely apartment. On the way, however, I get a growing feeling of illness. I don't even make it to my own bed; my legs give out and I collapse right on the floor of my living room.

Hazily, I fall into a dream, something involving Krad and Dark and Niwa, but I don't know what. I'm trapped in the dream; I know what much. Utterly immobile, unable to speak, and totally powerless.

I wake up some hours later, my neck aching. Not the tension sort of ache you get when you're at the computer too long or cocking your head down at a big test for too long; no, it's an ache like none I've ever known. And the necklace is undoubtedly the source.

My head feels heavy and dizzy and I haul myself to my feet using the couch as leverage. I sway as I pace towards my bathroom, wanting badly to check the necklace in the mirror. When I get there, the light on and blaring above my head, I see the necklace constricting like a snake around my neck.

"Shit!" I rasp out as I fling my hands to my neck and get shocked like a bad dog with an obedience collar. Furious, I storm on wobbling legs to the kitchen for the shears that came with the small set of cooking knives I own. I grab them and carefully raise them to my throat. I don't need a mirror to see that this thing needs to come off.

I slide one blade under the necklace and the other on top. The blade underneath is cool on my burning skin, and I almost welcome it. I hastily remind myself that I'm holding essentially two knives stuck together. Squeezing my eyes closed, I clench the handles of the shears as tightly as I can, feeling them inflict a boatload of pressure on the magically created choker necklace.

I can hear small, muffled screaming, and I don't know if it's my own or someone else's. For all I know, it could be Krad inside the necklace, screaming for me to stop. But I don't care. I clench tighter and wait for a snap, wait for the mysterious element used for this necklace to give in to my will.

I hear a snap and think I've done it, that the necklace is broken off of my neck forever, when I realize the scissors are what broke. The pieces fall into my hands as I release my grip. "DAMMIT!" I curse in a voice so loud compared to my usual volume that it startles me.

**(A/N: good music for this next scene: 'Chameleon Boy' by Blue October; some of the emotions were inspired by that song.)**

Without caring about the shock (which I realize I didn't fell with the scissors because they had rubber-covered handles), I tear and scratch at the black metallic-feeling necklace with all my might. It's not the smartest thing to do, and already I can feel teeny trickles of blood welling up and spilling out of my self-inflicted wounds, but can you blame me? I needed this thing off of me! It's slowly wrapping tighter around me, most likely due to Krad's magic. I doubt we stripped him on it; it's probably locked within the necklace like he is.

After a few minutes, my anger dissipates and I cease the clawing motion at my throat. I slump to the tiles of my kitchen and steadily begin to weep. It warmer and wetter than I remember; after all, I haven't cried in a very long time.

With tears flowing down and teeny hiccupping sobs escaping my lips, the contraction of the necklace loosening enough for me to cry, I start to feel a sense of regret. Tons upon tons of regret, weighing down on me like a herd of elephants. I regret everything: being born into the Hikari family, being adopted by the Hiwatari family, going to school in search of Dark's vessel, meeting Niwa Daisuke, speaking to him, chasing the winged thief, confessing my entire situation to the redhead when we went to save Risa… _everything._

But most of all, in this moment, I regret agreeing to the ceremony and with greater regret, for attempting to kiss Daisuke.

I am so terribly foolish.

As these thoughts dimmed and my nearly silent sobbing came to an end, I retreated to my bedroom, curled into my sheets, and fell asleep.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

I didn't go to school for multiple reasons. Firstly, I felt embarrassed for having broken down in my kitchen over things I couldn't undo and only regretted because I was frustrated and felt sorry for myself. Secondly, because I was so thrown off balance from my usual character, I injured myself, which ultimately left scabby scars all around the front of my neck; and that's embarrassing in itself. Thirdly… I don't want to face Niwa quite yet. Plus, when I do face him, I'm afraid he won't speak to me because of what I tried to do.

Henceforth, I decided to stay home today, and the rest of the week. That should be enough time for my scratches to heal and for me to figure out what to do with this damn necklace. Albeit an option, I don't want to kill myself over this thing.

Then again, I don't want to kill myself over a silly thing like the missed opportunity for a real kiss, either.

Completely without an answer to anything, I picked up an American novel to read while I made myself some instant noodles. Yet these weren't distraction enough for the real issues at hand. My mind is refusing to stop buzzing about "what almost was". And no, I don't mean the kiss (although that's certainly part of it); I mean the removal of the thing inside me that we all refer to as Krad. My mind if buzzing over how it didn't work and how Niwa tackled me, and why won't this strangling necklace come off? It's also buzzing about whether or not Krad can control that constriction in the necklace.

Perplexing concepts indeed…

With a sigh that blows over the steam of my noodles, I distress aloud: "I wish I had answers to them."

For once, I also wish that Krad could reply. It'd be nice to have some sort of hint, because I'm sure he knows something on this topic.

I sigh again, feeling as helpless as a man stranded at the bottom of a hole he dug himself. I slurp up a line of noodles and try not to focus on any specific thought, creating the illusion that everything's just peachy. But in my heart I know nothing whatsoever is 'peachy'. Vaguely, I wonder why that is. I wonder why I'm always the one left with the bruises. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not wallowing in self-pity like I was last night. I'm simply pondering how come the Hikari's, including myself, get stuck with all the blame and all the pain.

The answer occurs to me the second I finish that last statement: because of our ancestor. Once again, the initial artistic Hikari is the source of my problems. Because of him, the Hikari's have an extremely large cross to bear our entire short-lived lives, and none of us so far have escaped it.

Unless…

Unless _I _have?

Perhaps I'm the exception… Yeah, along with Daisuke. He and I are the ones trying to break the 'curse' by stepping outside the boundaries of our relatives. I stepped out by falling for the thieving family, and he stepped out by becoming the first artistic Niwa.

Yes, that would explain a lot… and it gives me hope. A small ray of hope no brighter than reflected flashes of sunlight on my glasses, but hope nonetheless. I can actually see part of my future forming, which is a rare and happy occurrence for me.

And in this not-so-distance future, I see a soft smile on my lips and a vacancy in my body, stronger than the one I have now. I also see hair on my skull a much more pronounced silver than what I have now, indicating ripe old age. Better yet, I see a hand in mine, feminine but not a woman's, and that's the only hint I need to tell me that I will break free, I will live longer than age thirty, and I'll have someone dear to me close by.

Mushy fantasies aside, I'm in for a long day, and I know it. After eating, it'd be best to clean my house and do some laundry, considering the fact that such chores are long overdue.

The second I start loading my colored articles of clothing into the washer, however, there came a knock at my door. I immediately feel green with dread, my gut telling me that it was most likely Daisuke. Who else would visit me on a day I'm out "sick" from school other than the red-haired Niwa?

Hurrying with my laundry, I slam the washer flap shut and rush to the front of my apartment. I make sure the collar of my shirt is up high enough so the scabs I made with my nails in my desperate attempt to free myself are covered before I unbolt the door and swing it open.

Sure enough, ruby red eyes and a small worried smile awaits me, the owner of them being the very boy I had foolishly kissed yesterday. "Hi, Hikari-kun," he says in a low voice. "May I come in?"

"Uh… sure," I reply slowly, my tongue falling thick and heavy between my teeth as my vocal cords go dead. What am I supposed to say to him? 'Hey, thanks for coming over, Niwa! Oh, sorry about attempting to kiss you, though. Boy, was I ever out of line! Can we just forget it ever happened?'

Yeah. That won't work in the least. It's sounds idiotic and like a bad 1990's movie.

I wish as the redhead helps himself to a seat on my couch. "Are you feeling alright, Hikari-kun? You were absent in school today, and I worried about what the effects of our exorcism might do to you, since it wasn't complete…"

I remove my glasses and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Look, Niwa, about yesterday…"

He blinks at me. I send him a look, my ears burning as I search for the words to say. A short moment passes, but he understands and flushes crimson. "Don't worry about it," he reassures me quietly. The redhead clears his throat. "So how _are_ you feeling, really?"

"Truthfully," I say in a dull tone, "Not so well." Since the uneasy chitchat has ended, I feel like I can open up to him about how things actually are with me. I pull down my collar and ashamedly show him my self-inflicted wounds.

Daisuke gasps and comes over to me as I sit down on the couch. I cringe in both pain and as a way of hiding my inner feelings as he touches my neck. "What did you do…?" he whispers sharply. His eyes shoot up to connect with mine. "You didn't try to…" he drifts off. His next question is soft-spoken."Did you?"

I nod and lower his hands like I had to do when we were rescuing Harada-san and he refused to let go of my shirt. "Yes, I tried to take it off in the heat of my frustration. You can see where it got me."

"Hikari-kun…" he murmurs.

"I know," I say bluntly as I stand up again, not wanting to accidentally slip into another kissing situation. "It was foolish of me to attempt, and I got carried away. But I had to _try_, Niwa." I grunt in exasperation. "You don't know what it's like to have that life-energy-stealing bastard inside of you, knowing you're going to die young unless you get rid of your enemy. I thought I could accept such a destiny, but the truth is… I don't want to." _Not when you're the tamer of that enemy,_ I add mentally.

He stares at me, partially confused and partially in awe. He looks like he wants to help my condition, like he wants to do something or say something to comfort me, but I know he can't. And having him comfort me could be potentially dangerous; why, if Krad somehow breaks out of his black chamber, I don't want to think opf what might happen.

"You should leave," I say suddenly. Even I'm surprised by the words that just came out of my mouth.

For once, Daisuke assesses the circumstances and nods. He gets up out of his seat and paces towards the door. With the door open and one foot out into the hallway, he turns back to me to utter one last thing: "I promise we'll get through this, Hikari-kun."

The door shuts and I hear his feet retreat down the hallway. "I hope so," I mumble to myself.

_[/end ch.8]_


	9. Nine: Breaking Point

**A/N: Huhu, you're in for a real treat with this chapter; it's the one from the summary and OVERLY bloody/emotional/fluffy. :3**

* * *

_[Ch.9; start]_

A few days passed without consequence. At first, I thought my envisioned bright future wasn't too far away… until I fell unconscious while washing my dinner dishes one night.

I woke up some hours later with water running in the sink and dripping over the lip of the metal to the floor, right beside my ear. I rose slowly and brushed off the broken plate from my clothing. There was a fork lying not too far off, and I nearly slipped on the giant puddle of water. I reached up and turned off the faucet, and then cleaned up the mess I had made. All the while, my neck felt tight and constricted.

I'm finished with all that now, and I'm laying on my bed, flat on my back, trying to recall a time when I didn't have painful complications in my life. It feels like never. Like the Niwas, I've been trained for certain things throughout my childhood, and when I reached teenhood, I found I had another burden: Krad, the white-winged one. So I don't know if I've ever been carefree and happy, but as I wince at the strain on my neck and think about the past week, I don't think I'm too far off. Sure, it's always somewhat dangerous what I do from day to day, but it's worth it, so I don't mind. I know I've thought about desiring the life of a normal teenager, but the truth is, I don't think I could have a life like that if I tried.

"You want out, don't you?" I murmur to the woven black choker necklace. "You can't stand not being in control. Well, you're under my control now, Krad. I call the shots. And I say that you're not getting out."

In response, the necklace quivers on my skin as if shaking with anger. I'm sure Krad wants to strangle me, but I doubt he can while he's in that necklace. Plus, I don't think he would want to; the way he thinks, keeping me alive means having a body he can jump back into if he gets the chance.

My hopes aside, I have a wretched gut feeling that he will succeed in getting free. Somehow, (and maybe it's my usual unfortunate nature speaking, but…) I think this will happen. And when it does, I get the sinking feeling that Krad will do something unspeakable to me to teach me a lesson.

I can't live in fear, though. I have to continue on and trust in Daisuke and his father.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

I refuse to bother with school any longer. I'm already a college graduate! I haven't been attending the past few days, anyhow. So with one call I tell them that I'm dropping out. The woman at the office doesn't seem surprised. She tells me that she'll inform my teachers and will remove me from the school records, attendance, grades, and all.

Like I never existed.

I'm fine with it; why do I need school? The only reason I went was to locate the Phantom Thief Dark. And I found him… along with his tamer. And now that I know where they live and know how their family works (which is simple: his father is the reasonable one, his grandfather the advise-giving one since he was a previous tamer for Dark, and his mother is the Hikari art collector.), so there's no need to be any closer to him than I already am. In fact, I'm a bit too close to him for comfort… if the other Hikaris knew, they would be ashamed of me.

On to other matters; like, for example, how to deal with this trap around my neck. Looking in the mirror in my bathroom, I see the scratches healing nicely, most of them in the stage of no scabs, just pink skin. But that black metal-like necklace is menacingly thick and growing ugly, looking less like a bigger version of that ring Kosuke gave me a while back and more like a black noose made of rope that's slowly rubbing me raw as it gets closer to killing me. I need to get this blasted thing off, once and for all!

But what can break it?

"I wish I knew what they used to create it," I grumble to myself as I take off my glasses and pinch the bridge of my nose, a headache forming in the base of my brain. "And how I can…"

I drift off as the pain throbs throughout my skull and I sway on my feet. I see Krad's looming face in the rivets of the necklace, peeping at me via the mirror. I can't tell if I'm seeing things or if it's actually there, but I gasp sharply and I know with an ice-cold feeling seeping into my heart that something bad is about to occur.

"Krad…" I pant, "Don't do this…"

There isn't an answer; after all, I'm talking to the mirror before me. The only thing near me that's able to make a noise is the friction between my bare feet and the cool tiles of the floor. I squeeze my eyes tight and feel an eerie wavering of the air around me, warm but not comfortable, as the incomplete spell breaks down.

"NO!" I bellow as I fall to my knees.

I gag on this unknown rancid aroma as the necklace changes shape, as if reverting back to it's initial tar/henna-like substance. It smells like a mix between bubbling hot rotten fish and old leather shoes molding from being left out in the rain. It burns my nose and causes a nauseous feeling to stir in my stomach.

Out of the blue, I hear a shattering sound like a glass platter crashing onto concrete. I get thrown back against the bathroom door, but it wasn't shut fully, so I slide across the wooden floor of the hallway and end up near the kitchen. My head bashes a wall I didn't even know was there, causing my nose to bleed.

I roll over onto my stomach and prop my arms on the surface nearest to me. I gasp for air and feel along my neck; there's nothing there. Does that mean that Krad is gone forever?

I find out in seconds that I'm mistaken. As I haul myself to my feet, I see a ghost-like figure, translucent and all too familiar. "Krad…" I whisper in horror. He escaped; but just barely. He's weak and damn near nonexistent. But he's still there, right in front of me, a shadow of what he can be.

He scowls at me, his teeth exposed and his browns arched so far down that I'm tempted to look away. I've never seen him so angry, not even when I've caught a glimpse of our reflection while he was battling with Dark.

"Satoshi," he rasps, his voice a figment of what it should be, like the rest of his body. "Look what you did to me, you little fucker!"

I gulp audibly and stand up, trying to appear much stronger than I feel. "That's right; I exorcised you from my body. How does it feel?" I snarl crossly.

"_Horrible!_" he roars as loud as his voice will allow.

Before I can react, he hurls himself at me. There's the feeling of a great force of wind, almost like an invisible shield, banging me against the kitchen counter. I cough as the wind is knocked out of my lungs. Krad starts to beat me, his ghostly fists pushing my face and limbs into other objects more than actually landing a solid blow. I feel sickly hot liquid beginning to flow from my lip and somewhere in my scalp as I hit a corner of wood.

My wrist hits something – I can't see what, the blood is getting in my eye – at a bad angle, the tendons twisting oddly, and I automatically know it's sprained. I fall to the floor, too much pain coursing through my body for me to think. I shudder violently and try to say something to Krad, but the only thing I can think of is: how and why? How can this happen, or how did it happen? And why is he doing this?

He floats above me, trying to enter my body my lying on me in the same position I'm posed in. It doesn't work; he can't meld with me any longer due to the spell the Niwas preformed.

The white winged "angel" (read: "demon") turns to look me full in the face. With one eye open, I watch him. Krad's blonde hair seems to hover in the air as if he were underwater. A transparent hand cups my chin. His expression grows softer. "I'm sorry, but I had to hurt you so that you don't try something like this again. Unfortunately, I can't get back inside you where I belong…" He smirks. "So you're going to call that 'friend' of yours, Dark's tamer, and you're going to get him to put me back inside you. I know there's a spell for it; how else did Dark and his tamer get separated and back together again? And don't deny that it happened, because I know it did; that red-haired bastard got trapped inside his own painting and Dark was apart for him for a while; I know, because we were there, and I'm always paying attention to what you do, even if you would rather I not."

He leans in to kiss my lips, but I shift at the last second and he gets my cheek. I grimace in disgust.

He frowns again at my grimace, but resumes his smirk. "I was aware when you tried to pull that on him, you know. I couldn't see or hear a thing, but I could fell your heart racing and through that, I could read your emotions. I know what the human body feels when it moves in for a kiss; I've been in enough bodies to know. You can't fool me." He slides his hands down my frame – a strange sensation like the wind caressing your skin – and I try to kick him away, but it's like kicking at a fog. I'm helpless. "Too bad he doesn't appreciate you like I do. So do the right thing, Satoshi; let me return to you."

"Never," I hiss, the salty, metallic taste of blood on my tongue.

I can't see what Krad's reaction is, but I hear him (like you would hear the wind blow) leave. I roll with a groan on my back, hoping that he's gone for at least a while.

My hopes are in vain.

The blonde reenters the kitchen with a piece of the necklace being pushed along the floor with his foot. _He can't pick it up in the same way that he can't actually punch me,_ I realize slowly, _so he's sliding it towards me like how he pushed me into things._

He smirks lightly and gestures to the piece, which is within my reach now. "Put it on."

It's gooey and sharp at the same time. I scramble to reach for it, not wanting to get smacked around again for disobeying. I weave it onto my pinkie finger, the only one small enough for the small piece to fit around. Krad dives for it, and this time he's sucked right in; apparently, he's compatible with this bizarre substance and no longer compatible with my body. But that suits me just fine; I don't want him in me anymore.

Slowly, steadily, I regain my breath and gather enough strength to make my way back to the bathroom.

As I stare at my disgustingly dark red-coated reflection with bright blue-violet bruises, I recall the events slowly. Somewhere in the mix, I remember a ringing phone. But at what time it rang I don't know, nor do I care who bothered to call me.

I sigh and turn on the faucet, the disgusting hastily made ring glittering black and ugly on my right hand. I advert my eyes, not wanting to look at it. I reach up into the medicine cabinet and take down some pain medication. Then, as the tap water starts running, I slam the pills into my mouth and take a long drink of the coolness, praying that the pain will ease.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

I dissect the situation aloud to myself as I clean the blood from my wounds. First, my thoughts are brought to how this started: with Kosuke and Daisuke and their plans to "help save me". Inadvertently, they ended up putting me in more danger. And look where that danger got me.

I sigh into the sink, my head low enough to smell the minerals in the water. Clean… like Niwa. He's pure and clean, despite who's inside him. He's sweet and kind and caring, and unreachable. For more than one reason.

I suddenly feel like crying. Not so much from the pain; it's numbing thanks to the meds. No, I feel like crying because I feel so strongly for him, but it's not reciprocal. I feel like crying because of my inescapable life circumstance. I feel like crying because I actually want to for once.

"He…" I whisper. I shake my head briskly. "He constantly tries to make promises he can't keep."

His dream with Freedert comes to mind, about protecting those close to him. But he couldn't have protected me from that earlier beating. He can't always be there to catch me when I fall; or, rather, pick me up when I've fainted.

My voice rises as I continue to rant: "He's always on the lookout for ways to 'save' me. Doesn't he understand that my life isn't able to be saved? That I'm not _worth_ saving? Doesn't he know that…?" I pause as a dull pain throbs over my entire body, every little bump and bruise. My grip on the bathroom sink wavers. "It's something that can't be helped," I murmur to myself. I sigh as I realize the truth in my words. Tears burn wet trails down my face and land in the blood already collecting on the porcelain.

"It can't be helped…" a voice repeats, and I know it's not my own. It's a voice I can recognize in a heartbeat; a voice that belongs to none other than Niwa Daisuke, the very person I was referring to.

I quickly wipe my tears before he can see them. He's somewhere behind me out of my sight, but I can feel him getting nearer. I hadn't even heard him enter; when did he get here? And more importantly: "What are you doing here?" I ask him grumpily. I can't believe he almost caught me crying.

"Your door was unlocked," he explains. "So I let myself in. I was… worried about you. I called, but you didn't answer, and I was afraid that something might've happened to you. I mean, you quit school and everything…"

I don't respond. I turn on the faucet once more in order to hide the evidence. I glance quickly at the watch on my sprained wrist; it's getting close to the average dinnertime. I wonder how he was able to come here without his mother protesting? Unless they weren't home…

The redhead comes up behind me, his socks shuffling on the tiled flooring; at least he was courteous enough to take off his shoes when he entered my home without permission.

I stand to my full height from my bent position over the bathroom sink so that he doesn't see how weak I am. Slowly, I turn half towards him, although I refuse to look him in the eye. I'm sure he can see the amount of blood I have drying in random splotches across my clothing, and the wetness in my hair where I washed the blood out.

"Satoshi-kun," he says lowly, his tone compassionate. I blink at the use of my first name; normally he wouldn't even think about using it. A hand grips my shoulder and wheels me around to face it's owner fully. Daisuke looks me dead in the eye. Both the depths of his red orbs are soft and tender… almost gentle enough to make me start crying again. "Are you hurt?" he asks delicately. "Who hurt you?"

I advert my eyes and look back into the sink. It's stained a light yellow-pink, the hue of watered-down blood. I shrug my shoulder out of Niwa's grasp and shut off the running water. "No," I tell him to answer his first question. I don't want to answer the third. My blood swirls with the water and the drain gobbles it up. The porcelain is back to it's normal color, the clean white shining through.

"That's a lie," Niwa mutters sharply. He forces me to face him again by guiding my face with his hand. I feel my pulse quicken and my cheeks heat up. "Let me help you," he demands, his eyes remaining in that soft expression.

"You've done enough," I snap as I force his hand off my jaw. I didn't mean for it to come out as harshly as it had; honestly, I'm grateful for his attempts, and he wasn't even the one who made me bleed… and yet I feel so blisteringly furious right now. I hate that I'm taking it out on him. Daisuke doesn't deserve it. Dark might deserve it, considering how he… Wait, no, not even him. _Krad_ deserves my fury. Yes, Krad does…!

"Satoshi-kun…" he says again, his voice breaking. His brows are angled downward, as if scolding me. "You have to let people in! You can't carry on thinking you can take care of yourself! I heard what you said… but I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I want to prolong the life of my friend." Niwa has that stubborn look in his eyes again; that determined, protective, honorable look that never ceases to amaze me. I shouldn't be so bitter towards him… he truly does wish to help me.

"I understand," I murmur, "But you don't seem to get it. It's impossible to –"

"No it's not!" the redhead throws back. "My dad found the answer this time! A real answer that will save your life…" He pauses as his watering eyes land on my throat. "Where's the necklace? Did something happen to it…? How did you get hurt, exactly?"

I still don't answer him. I shrug to hide the shivers I'm getting. My eyes land on the bathtub, which looks old and in need of cleaning, but it's the sole visual distraction I have.

"Why won't you talk to me? I thought…"

He drifts off as sobs envelope his words. In my peripheral vision I see Daisuke's shoulders shake and his artistic hands reach for me. I look back at him, my lips parted in surprise of how he's acting.

Now, what am I supposed to do? Turn the other cheek?

I could _never_.

I take him into my arms, my wrist stinging slightly, and bring the shorter boy to my chest. His muffled cries reach my ears. I catch every other word as his tears dampen my bloodied shirt.

"Can't… allow… die… while… I'm… around… must… fight… live…"

I bite my lip and clutch him tighter. I almost feel like laughing; this is _insane_! Hence, I start to chuckle a little as I hold him, which is a predicament I never saw myself getting into anytime soon.

"Heh," I begin breathlessly, "And this is why I love you, Niwa."

_[/end ch.9]_


	10. Ten: Falls Apart and Mends Again

**A/N: No, I am not fully emerging from my fanfiction break; but I've been sick these passed two days, so I had time to finish this story and write a little oneshot for something else. And yes, I did say "finish" this story; this isn't a long chapter, but I want you all to know that I had planned this to be between ten and eleven chapters long, and with the way things worked out, it became ten. So I hope you aren't too angry with me for ending it the way I did, and have liked this story. See ya all on the flip side! :D**

* * *

_[Final chapter; start]_

The scent of his hair reminds me of something I can't put my finger on; something fruity, perhaps? It's tangy but sweet, and smells fresh. It's very familiar, and seems wintry… and overpoweringly fragrant.

I open my eyes a bit and notice the color, which looks like for of a purple-red in the dim lighting of my bathroom, the lone source of light emitting from the hallway.

_Pomegranates,_ I conclude after a moment of thought. _His hair smells like pomegranates._

My previous words sink in slowly. At first, I don't think he comprehends what I said. But, after a couple seconds, his weeping reduces to sniffling. He pulls out of our embrace and stares wide-eyed at me, his tear-stained childish face bewildered. "What… what did you just say?" he manages to say.

"Niwa," I mutter, feeling somewhat ashamed of myself, "Surely you heard me clear enough to know."

"But…" he bursts forth, his voice getting higher and softer, "That's can't be what you said… You must've said something else…"

I shake my head and smile at the absurdity. How did I let things spiral so far out of my control? "No, I didn't say anything else. It took me forever to finally admit that to you, and you don't believe it?"

He clenches his fists and steps away from me completely. "When I said you needed to let people in, I didn't mean it in _that _way!" he squeaks, his face turning pink; and not from his tears, either. His tone grows quieter. "I… I meant that I didn't want you to isolate yourself… but…" Daisuke shakes his head. "Why me, of all people?" he whispers at last, his fingers falling limp as he peers down at the floor, which luckily holds no splatters of blood or shards of black from what used to be a necklace.

"Why you?" I echo, my courage fading with every word he speaks. "Daisuke…" I say gently. He doesn't hear me. I pitch my voice a hair louder, and remove the familiarity. "Niwa…" I step closer again, my heart throbbing in my rib cage. The ring on my finger tightens with jealousy from Krad, but I pay it no mind. Exactly how I pay my vaguely painful wounds no mind. "I honestly can't tell you why I fell for you."

But I know it's a mistake. I knew it the moment our two chains became linked; I never wanted to get close to him, but now I can't seem to stop myself. It's a horrible game I play with myself, a poor attempt at pushing down my emotions. Yet here I stand, unable to hold them in any longer. The volcano has erupted, and the flow _can't be helped_...

I pause, inhale deeply, and prepare myself to shed light on every aspect concerning the redhead in front of me. I don't know what he'll do when he hears what I have to say, but I'm willing to risk it. He needs to know my true thoughts. And with Krad suspended the way he is, there's no time like the present.

"When I first met you, I knew little about you. As time wore on, I found out something things I'd rather not know, all because I was starting to like you and then found out that I was meant to hunt you down because of who dwells inside of you. Still, I bit back my feelings and kept moving, all the while wishing I didn't have to hurt you in the process. It killed me, so I began bending the rules. I stepped out of bounds more times than I can count, and dropped so many hints – some of them hidden as jokes – just so you could see what was going on. In a way, I was testing myself; I was seeing how far I could stretch before I reached my limit and turned into Krad. I was also testing how much I could do or say before you noticed. I found out both, although it took a verbal assessment from me until you noticed," I smile pathetically, my eyes for once looking directly at him. I advert them again, and finish my speech before I lose my nerve. "It's strange, because every little thing you do for me… whether it's physical or verbal, a promise or a smile, it never ceases to warm me. You're such a considerate individual, even for someone like me: a destined enemy." I run a hand through my hair. I'm careful not to hit the lump on my head "And when you had that dream with Freedert, saying that you needed to protect me…" I drift off to let him picture the rest. I shake my head and lean back against the sink, the full blast of that fuzzy feeling of the medication starting to film over my senses. "Through it all, I didn't think it'd come to this: you being here for me, Krad missing in action enough so that I can act freely, and me actually speaking my heart. Yet here we are, and there it is, out in the open. What will you do now, Niwa?"

By now, Dark's tamer is tomato red and had his hands are tied up in front of him, his eyes focused solely on the floor. I wonder what he's thinking in this moment? How have my words affected him?

"I-I need to go…" he squeaks nervously. He turns on his heel and rushes for the front door. I hear him stumble on something (most likely his own feet) and crash into something. I hear shoes being tossed about, and a deep voice cursing. The front door creaks open and then slams with a brusque bang.

I venture out into the entranceway to eavesdrop on the deep voice coming from the hallway. I lean against the front door, wincing when the tender spot on my head gets bumped lightly. This is what I hear, plain as day, said in Dark's voice:

"Oh yeah? Just friends, huh? But there's that tiny fact that he's fucking in love with you, Daisuke! Explain how that makes you still 'just friends'!" The voice is barking at the thin air as he stands in the hallway. Dark starts walking again, but his voice sounds nearer; he's pacing. "No answer? Well then, what about you? You still love Riku, don't you?! She's the only one for you, right?" There's a grunt of frustration. Knowing Dark, he's trying to remain cool and not get too angry with his tamer. Dark may be quick-tempered, but he's not cruel like Krad.

I shrink back, not wanting to listen to another word of Dark's accusations. He's obviously pop-quizzing Daisuke in such a vicious manner because he's worried; that's twice now that Niwa has turned into Dark over something I've done.

Just outside my door, I hear one thing more: "Yes, I know I said that I would stand by you on anything at all, and I still will, but this is a bit much for me. Your feelings… they're too strong, Daisuke."

Then the solitary sounds I catch are Dark's retreating footsteps down the hall.

- - - - - - - .S. .A. .T. .O. -x- .D. .A. .I. - - - - - - -

A few days pass by. I stay home and heal the entire time, all the while my eye keeping a lookout for any movement by Krad. Luckily, nothing occurs… yet. I know it will eventually, because avoiding Krad is like avoiding death: it's impossible. But still, I have hope; if Daisuke ever decides to forgive me, or speak to me, or anything, I have a feeling he'll have some piece of information. I don't care if it's good news or bad news, but so long as it makes my unsure future more definite, I'll be satisfied.

It's nearly a week until my red-haired friend visits me once again. I dread seeing his face the second I hear him knock and call my name from the other side of my front door.

I open it quickly and gulp discreetly. "Good afternoon, Niwa," I greet. My voice gives away nothing, and hopefully my face is doing the same. I'm acting as thought nothing is different, even though both he and I know that everything is.

"Hi, Hikari-kun," he murmurs. Niwa's voice lacks all the lightheartedness I'm used to hearing. It scares me. "I brought you something." He holds up an ancient tome, the binding just as frail as the yellowed pages within. It must be at least a century old, maybe even two.

"What is it?" I ask as I take it from him. I step aside to allow him entrance, but he shakes his head.

"You… you know I c-cant return your feelings, right?" Daisuke says so lowly I hardly hear him.

My heart turns to stone. "I know," I reply flatly.

He changes the subject. "That book will tell you what to do with Krad. My dad found it. He says he's sorry he didn't see it's importance earlier; he also apologizes for you being in so much pain. I'm sorry, too," he adds at the end, his voice deeply sincere. I can tell, now, that it hurts him to be here in front of me. I can tell that it tortures him for some unknown reason… I like to think that reason is his inner conflict over possible feelings he holds for me; I'm dreaming, I know; that can't be right.

"Which are you sorry for?" I ask. It's cruel, but I want to know. "For my injuries, or for not being able to return my feelings?"

"Both," he whispers. Then, with the pace of a snail creeping over frozen grass, the blushing redhead turns away and walks down the hall from my apartment.

I nod once to myself and close the door. It's clicks into place, and I collapse to the floor with a heavy sigh. I pinch the bridge of my nose in pain and frustration and sadness. I'm not sure which of these emotions is prominent, although I'm willing to bet it's the last one I named. It's the closest thing I feel to heartbreak.

Suddenly, something dawns on me: the way Daisuke acted just now was like that of an embarrassed girl caught telling someone else that she was in love with the person in front of her. I've seen it before from the silly girls that crushed on me at school. So does this mean that Daisuke is in denial? Or that he's caught between liking me and loving Riku-san?

…Or perhaps a bit of both?

The idea of this likelihood takes away the sadness and pain. I stand up and glance down at the book in my hands. It's musky, dusty smell wafts up to my nose. I open it to a page marked with a marigold-colored ribbon.

A smile makes it way onto my face. "This book really does have the answers."

Maybe not the answer to my problematic 'love life' (if one could call it that), but at least it holds the answer to the other major problem I have resting around my finger.

And who knows? Perhaps not all is lost; perhaps some things can be helped. Perhaps… once Krad is taken care of… Niwa Daisuke will come to me on his own someday. Because, in spite of everything, I know my feelings for him will not fade.

_[/end]_


End file.
